Bloggy McBloggerson

a house

2011-04-20T20:39:00.000-06:00

We are hoping to conclude our "tour of homes" in St. Paul, MN. Starting in 2007, we have have lived in 3 different states, 4 different houses (2 owned, 2 rented)...Moving lost its fun long ago. We hope that house #5 is one we get to inhabit for awhile. The appraisal is the last hurdle (which is a bigger deal now than just a few years ago) and if all goes well, we will close at the end of May.

Some stats:
-1.5 story, 4 bedroom, 2 bath
-finished basement
-2 car garage (which is HUGE for the city)
-big yard (again, the area we are moving has tiny lots)
-been in the same family for 75+ years. It has been very well maintained...it is very dated, but very well loved and cared for...

Here are some pix:

this yard is HUGE, relative to the neighborhood

3 season porch

awesome woodwork. not awesome wallpaper, on EVERY wall, but one room.

hallway back to bedrooms/bathroom on main level, fun built-in drawers/closet thingie

bedroom #1

bedroom #2...fun big baseboard (hard wood floors under carpet)

small, dated kitchen #1

small, dated kitchen #2

half story upper. carpet anyone?

the end.

Puke is Gross

2011-03-27T14:58:00.000-06:00

We are sharing a room with Irene at the moment. We were awakened on Saturday morning at 4am by the sound of vomit spewing. she went on to throw up a few more times throughout the day. Here are some random thoughts about this experience:

-It is an unmistakable sound. There are no other options for what it might be.

-running around with eyes that won't open, trying to find a bucket or trash can or something to catch the copious amounts of vomit is not easy.

-vomit stains things. like carpet. and this brought back some ancient childhood memories of stained carpets. both in the bedroom and the hallway. I can't decide if the memory of vomit cascading down from the top bunk and splattering as it hit the floor is real or not. But I am almost certain that a younger sibling spewing forth in the hallway on their way to the bathroom is quite real.

-catching puke in a towel is gross.

Here are some other random thoughts, (i.e. emotional puke), that have nothing to do with actual puke:

-the potholes in minnesota are unreal. one day, I will be driving down the road, hit one, and my car will literally fall apart around me...the probability of this happening is between 65-85%.

-LOVE WINS...and Christians are dumb. very very dumb. the "to do" surrounding the release of this book is the latest example. I just finished reading it. the insanity of the evangelical world was confirmed.

-if anyone is interested in reading a fascinating book on "why" certain Evangelicals were so crazy, I recommend Peter Rollins, "The Fidelity of Betrayal"...he gives words to the WAY in which people like Rob Bell "believe things"...which will in turn stand in contrast to another way of believing things. read the book.

I hope all is well with everyone. BLOGGY has been in a deep slumber. I assume I can speak for everyone when I say that little kids are getting in the way and creative juices just aren't what they used to be. no worries, there is a season for everything...

2010-09-17T13:04:00.004-06:00

Friends of bloggy,

I have recently had the distinction of writing a personal letter of reference for one Jon Iwaszkowiec. It is to serve as a means of recommending him for a student teaching assignment. I feel as if I know Jon fairly well, but I would like input from all as to how to best describe his most important attributes. Here is said letter, please advise as to changes and additions that should be made before it is submitted.

To whom it may concern,

I am writing this letter as a personal recommendation for Jon Iwaszkowiec. It is my understanding that he will begin a student teaching assignment in the near future and I believe he is both able and prepared for such an endeavor. Please allow me the benefit of expounding upon some of Jon's most favorable qualifications.

The most beneficial quality to any person in such a position is experience, and Jon has an abundance of such in areas that can only enhance his ability to educate the young. His years as a lifeguard are a clear indication that no student in his class will run, hang on the lane dividers or drown. He may even carry a whistle upon request. He may even make them sit on the floor next to his chair for five minutes as a means of reprimand. This sort of control over unruly students is invaluable. Also, his years of running a successful retail bookstore means that he knows about books, and from what I remember about high school, there were books involved. And he knows about them. So that's good. And I think he even reads them, which is also good.

Beyond relevant work experience is the world experience that many other educators are lacking desperately. He is well travelled, with time spent in the Middle East, Europe, Central America, Iceland and even Texas. His time in the Middle East was spent as an integral part of a multi-disciplinary water rescue operation in some of the most dangerous waters in the world. The marine life, specifically the sharks, are so advanced and intelligent that they have begun fashioning their own land forms shaped like palm trees. Protecting the worlds richest oil sheiks from such predators is surely among the most grueling and sacrificial tasks. In addition, his travels through Europe were spent educating himself on the worlds most revered art and architecture. He would log hours in churches and museums, absorbing all the the ancient world culture has to offer. Unlike most college grads spending mommy and daddy's money in pubs and beer halls, he was refining his background in history and culture. The same can be said of his forays into Central America and Iceland. Where most people in such situations would waste an opportunity surfing and drinking beer in Costa Rica or watching soccer and drinking beer in Iceland, he was amidst the rich heritage of the Icelandic people and studying the flora and fauna of the Central American jungles. None of us are really sure what he did in Texas, but I think it was something like the Schlitterbahn, which sounds foreign and important.

I would be remiss if I did not mention that Jon is a foreign born American citizen with dual citizenship in Brazil. This makes him a minority, a Brazilian, or maybe a Russian, not sure which, but certainly entitled to all of the benefits of affirmative action. In fact, if you do not furnish him with the very best opportunities that are available in internships, you would be in direct violation of something, and discriminating against Russo-Brazilian Americans everywhere.

As a person who spends time in religious settings with Jon, I can speak directly to his spiritual maturity and ability to properly ground all of his decisions and actions in moral and spiritual truth. While we worried for a time about his deep involvement with radical Islamic groups during his stay in the United Arab Emirates, he seems to have tempered his radicalism to rantings about sports and bad church music. He almost always attends church, well mostly, Ok sometimes, as long as there is not a soccer game on or a bodybuilding competition on a Sunday. He also regularly attends a weekly bible study, especially if it is held in a bar or at Busch Stadium. He NEVER misses those. I should also mention his passion for physical fitness, which means he could kick any high schooler's ass, or at least outrun them.

I think it goes without saying that Jon is highly qualified, experienced and educated for a premiere role in educating the next generations. The institution that benefits from his expertise will be forever changed, and the students he encounters will always remember him, for one reason or another.

With Regards,

Greg Vest

There Once Existed and Alliance between Elves and Men

2010-09-12T14:50:00.003-06:00

Luke 10:18 He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven."

I am pretty sure that Jesus mentioned a certain toy that was thrown just after that, but if fell more like a snowflake and not like lightning therefore Luke did not bother mentioning it.

But somehow, like Jumanji or the One Ring, it has found its way to my home. Unearthed in Vietnam it was then packaged and sent to America where it was found by my mother, bought for my son, and now serves to torment me day and night. Look at the picture below, if you dare, and feast your eyes on such an unspeakable evil.

It may look innocent enough but all you have to do is look at the front wheels (ok, maybe touch them) and the terror is set loose upon your ears. Unless you enjoy the sound of a diesel truck starting followed by two very long car honks (in which case you may need psychological help) it is an awful terrible toy.

The only hope i have is to take it back to the grandparents house and trick my son to throw it into the pool thereby destroying the circuitry which cause such awful sounds. The journey is long and arduous. I will be forming a fellowship to undertake such a dangerous task. If you would like to volunteer please leave a comment.

Working for the weekend

2010-08-13T06:22:00.005-06:00

Dear Nature,

I know we have not been spending a lot of time together. I have this house now, and a child, and I have to work. You have been very sticky and humid lately and the wrong kind of "hot". With all that on the table I just wanted to let you know that yesterday's actions were uncalled for. Just because you have missed my presence doesn't mean you should start drinking early and go on a drunken rampage through my backyard.

If you want my attention that is not the way to get it. I like you nature, I really do, but lately your actions have been over the line. I think we may need to find you some help. It started with the moles and has moved onto the mosquitos. I was ok with that, but clearly those were just gateway drugs and now you have moved on to destructive wind. This needs to stop. No one likes you when you act like that. Poor Tree is going to need surgery and will never be the same.

I know that it has been rough but with the fall coming I believe we will see more of each other soon. We can make it through this Nature!

I Promise.

With lots of love,

Jeff

some stuff

2010-02-14T08:34:00.014-06:00

Long time no Bloggy...I will now spew forth:

I flew on some planes this past fall. The airlines charge for checked baggage, so carry-ons just get bigger and bigger and bigger. it was frustrating when there was no space for my little computer bag in the overhead bin. Unrelated, one time the woman next to me got out a small mirror and some tweezers so that she could pluck random facial hairs. she was meeting her boyfriend. but still. and lastly, old people should have their own airlines (and highways). will I be slow and oblivious when I'm old? are they really oblivious or do they just not care? I guess either one is justifiable.

Having 2 kids is fun and funny. The lack of sleep is neither. But the kids are hilarious. unintentionally at this age...Irene just emits hilarity in everything she does. I wonder if God thinks we are funny, like I think my kids are funny. and the fact that I just said "my kids" makes me feel woozy like my brain is going to explode.

The spirit of the Olympic games is cool and great...the epic, made for tv, feel good about our country spectactle is crap. The stupidest part is the "medal count"...who cares?! Let's manufacture another way we can boost our narcistic attitudes in some sort of fake reality that doesn't really matter. just saying. show the events. maybe some nations that we never get to see...maybe do a "puff piece" on any african nation that doesn't have money or snow, yet somehow sends 1 or 4 athletes to compete in the WINTER games...I would watch that. and be interested in that story.

I am "all dough" (Irene speak for "all done") with winter. I saw that the temps are 20 degrees below average here (a lot of places in the south). I would like average to come back...average is good. average is average. maybe we should be content with average in more aspects of our lives

hope everyone is well...

UPDATED! November 7, 2009: One of the most depressing days of my life

2009-11-07T16:56:00.007-06:00

Today was supposed to be a beautiful day. It was supposed to have great weather, great events, and an overall fantastic day. Amie, Xavi and I had planned on going on a hike having a picnic just enjoying the hiking trails of my youth and planning future adventures with my own son.

The weather was amazing. Check.

The car ride was enjoyable. Check

Xavi was getting a nap and would be pleasant. Check.

The first sign of trouble was when we pulled into Rockwood Reservation. We noticed that a particular group was active in the field near the "park offices", this group happens to be perhaps my least favorite group of people. That's right, Boyscouts. They may not have been boyscouts but they looked and acted similar which means they were some type of 'scouting' group. Regardless it was a bad omen for the hike.

Amie and Xavi preparing for the Hike

As we began our hike Xavi had woken up, we put him in the backpack and he promptly fell back asleep.

Undeterred by this development we pressed on.

After climbing the stairs we headed toward a familiar spot. A spot of great memories. A spot that has history. A spot where boys become men. And what did we discover when we got there? Tragedy.

That is right. Tragedy. Nature has been caged.... from nature. Apparently some members of Western St. Louis County don't like caves and the creatures that inhabit them. Something about lowering property values and having "them" ruin the neighborhood. Having this personal vendetta against them, the creatures of this cave have apparently been evicted and forced to seek shelter elsewhere. Presumably St. Charles as the members of that community are more wildlife friendly.

This was perhaps the worst thing I could ever find out today. It is as if my heart had been caged. All because some hippie doesn't want man made interference to the cave. How about you just close down the whole park then? I would like to file a complaint against having the boy scouts on the grass, they were damaging the natural resource and therefore they shouldn't be allowed on it. Can we put a cage around the grass? Is that possible?

Overall it was just a sad sad turn of events. I will always have the memories but unfortunately will no longer be able to pass them on to my children.

No Breathing! No Pulse! Call EMS!!

2009-09-27T10:32:00.002-06:00

Alright, I'm going to attempt to resuscitate our poor blog. What can I blog about? Lots of things I guess, and once again I'll use bullet points to appeal to certain brothers:

* What is the Rachel Zoe project and why am I watching it right now?

* I literally think that people say "literally" way too much

* To those that were unaware, I quit my old job at a bookstore that shall remain unnamed in July and have been teaching American History and Government as a long-term substitute teacher since August. This has been a good thing in every way. However, teaching is a very challenging job and I have much more respect for those who do this. But it's been great to be on the same schedule as the rest of the working world. I had completely forgotten how weekends are supposed to be.

* On a related note, I love football. Especially the college variety. Don't know what to expect from my alma mater but it's good to start 4-0. The upcoming game vs. Nebraska will be huge as we haven't really played anyone yet. Illinois clearly doesn't count.

* Ray now weighs about 105 pounds. And he's not fat. We did lots of swimming in the lake over the summer, which was super fun. He won't jump off the dock though. We'll have to work on that next summer.

* I did a half-marathon a couple weeks that I really didn't train for. Perhaps this wasn't the wisest decision but I did alright. I ran it with my friend Marianne though and she kicked my a**. She did really well (1:37 for those that care). I also did a Cross-Fit competition back in August which was an even worse decision. To those that do not know what Cross-Fit is I'll sum it up for you in one word = torture. That people actually pay to do. It was basically competing at working out. Which is strange. It was really fun though and all of the people at the games were super nice. I don't know if I'll do this again, I'm just not all that into working out to be good at working out. I think swimming burned me out on competing. Running is different, I think because it's such a solitary thing.

* Jojo is "so bored that her head is going to explode" right now. So bored that she's continuing to watch Rachel Zoe. The Rams game is on now but....yeah, this is probably better.

* I haven't showered since Friday morning.

* Neal has a sister named Gwynne. And perhaps a new daughter named Amanda.

A poll for freedom

2009-07-03T09:30:00.003-06:00

In honor of this great holiday in which we get to blow stuff up in celebration, I thought we should have a poll to get us through the day and weekend. So without further ado...

1. Favorite founding father?

2. Your Favorite firework (i.e. bottlerocket, Snap, Grow Worm, etc...)?

3. Favorite American War

4. Best and Worst fourth of July concert you have attended

5. Best 4th of July food/meal?

6. Most hoosier thing you have witnessed at a fourth of July celebration.

7. I will spend my fourth of July at:

A. my home
B. a neighborhood gathering
C. MOfallon
D. In a sweaty mass of humanity at any major US city

Things That Suck

2009-06-14T18:45:00.002-06:00

Not having power.

Not having a job.

Not having power while your neighbor across the street does...

Having a friend who lives in Guam have a baby and then never post pictures of that baby.

Crabby babies who don't get good naps because it is so hot in the house because the power is out.

Trying to pack a house, move boxes, and clean while having no electricity.

Leeches

But really, not having power isn't THAT bad. it is mostly just inconvenient. things could be a lot worse. I just saw Slumdog Millionaire and living in a slum would probably not be very much fun.

your scarf looks like my underwear (or things I like Spring 2009)

2009-04-17T09:47:00.015-06:00

Alright it's time for my semi-annual list post. In no particular order here are some things that I like (or just want to write about):

Seattle - Johanna and I went to visit Rachel there a couple weeks ago. Rachel did a very good job of chronicling our visit over on her blog. She pretty much hit every detail. I had never been there before so it was really cool to hang out and walk around the city. It's weird that Rachel lives there now but I'm glad she does because I liked it and look forward to visiting again.

If you ever find yourself there I would highly recommend that you visit Top Pot Doughnuts and Caffe Ladro. We saw Top Pot on the Travel Channel before our trip and I was determined to check it out. It was well worth it. I could seriously eat doughnuts non-stop. Easily my favorite sweets. Caffe Ladro had a store actually attached to our hotel, The Marqueen, and I went there every morning for coffee. It was no Pilao but it will do in a pinch.

Also, it was cool to ride the monorail. Which leads me to question why aren't there more monorails? Wasn't this supposed to have been futuristic technology back in the 60s? Isn't it the future now?

Chondroitin - is a really fun word that I like to say. Also, it is a supplement the my dog now has to take because he has hip dysplasia. When we got back from Seattle Ray was limping again so we took him back to the vet. As a result of getting him x-rayed we finally found out how old he is (almost a year old) but it was sad to look at the x-ray and clearly see where is hip is out of whack. He's doing better now and we still go on our long walks but we're just going to have to watch it with the really vigorous exercise and make sure he doesn't overdo it. We also got him an orthopedic dog bed which is huge.

Qdoba - is awesome. I probably eat it twice a week.

The Shack - I finally read this and I'm glad I did. I was surprised that I like it as much as I do. It didn't make me cry, I think because everyone told me how it made them cry so I expected that kind of thing, but it did make me laugh and smile alot.

Rocky IV Soundtrack - I rediscovered this gem from my childhood and it's been inserted into my Ipod rotation.

Laird Hamilton Force Of Nature - another really cool book. It's not just about surfing either. Inspiring.

Fast & Furious - terrible. And awesome.

Don't be "that guy"...

2009-03-24T11:48:00.008-06:00

(this part really isn't relevant, but I just want to set the stage)...About a month ago I took a coaching license course. These courses are part of US Soccer Federation policy/training and are sort of a big deal. the instructors take things seriously and expect professionalism from candidates. there are various levels of licenses (starting at E and going through A)...there were 35 candidates in my "class" all ranging in ability/skill (both playing and coaching) from rec league soccer dad to former and current NCAA division 1 college coaches. this post is about group dynamics and how some people become dumber in a large social setting/environment., especially when education is involved. the course consisted of both classroom lectures and field practicals. Both served as prime environments for the following 'guys' to emerge:

1.) "The Question Guy" = this person feels the necessity to ask questions at any and all times. Social awareness does not apply to this individual. Natural stoppages in a lecture mean nothing. Questions should be asked frequently, repeatedly, and about anything. Even if the answer was just given. We should ask a question to have the instructor repeat what was just said. This 'guy' thinks that extra credit is given for the number of questions asked, no matter how ridiculous said questions are...

2.) "The Statement Guy" = is a close relative of the 'question guy'...similarly feels that the frequency of statements adds extra credit to one's grade. social cues are lost on this individual as they feel that their knowledge is so important that to withhold their knowledge from the group would be like depriving water from a thirsty child. Usually the information shared by the 'statement guy' is meaningless, elementary, or not specifically relevant in any way, shape, or form...

3.) "The Humor Guy" (aka "The Joker") = this guy is sort of tricky to discern at first. his first funny is usually pretty good and can get people chuckling; but he soon steps over the line and inserts jokes often, at inappropriate times, and in inappropriate ways...and then they just stop being funny. Also, this guy is notorious for being the one to laugh loudest at his/her own jokes. the Joker thinks that getting the instructors to laugh equals a passing grade...

4.) "The Smart Guy" = this guy thinks that he is super smart/intelligent but is really not. they DO have the potential to be smart in a certain topic or two, but not the one at hand...they typically try to answer a question or two but in such a way as to give them an "out" if they are wrong.

5.) "The Answer-a-Rhetorical Question Guy" = this guy thinks they are supposed to answer rhetorical questions. They might be the same guy as the 'statement guy' but doesn't have to be...sometimes this 'guy' thinks that by answering a rhetorical question it will give them bonus points, like by showing the instructor that they are paying attention or something...mostly they are just too dumb to realize that it was a rhetorical question.

6.) "The Quiet Guy" = always be aware of the quiet guy(s)...they are usually the ones in the room who know what is up. they know that that know too. so they don't have to talk, be funny, ask questions, or any other shenanigan used to get attention. When they DO talk it is usually insightful\worthwhile and the instructors usually learn something from them as well. the 'quiet guys' are also usually the ones to befriend. they don't need to be friends so hanging out with them you know they aren't in it for narcissistic purposes. if they like hanging out with you, they genuinely like you.

(NOTE: these "guys" are not isolated to my experience. they are sure to arise wherever group gatherings/education takes place. ALSO, "guy" is a gender inclusive term as females can be "that guy" as well)

I guess this post is my way of saying that I am not a fan of 'group dynamics' when it comes to adult-education. I could have written a very similar post when I was in seminary...why do adults get dumber in groups?

Expanding My Musical Horizons

2009-03-08T15:19:00.002-06:00

One of Kim's facebook friends had a genius idea. He is having a contest to see who can add more good songs to his ipod. 7 categories, one song from each, if he downloads more of your songs you get a free t-shirt. So in lieu of the traditional exit poll, and even though I have no t-shirts to give away (unless you want the extra XXL flag football jersey), I propose seven categories of my own that need new musical influence.

1. Break-Up song- it could be a "i hate you now" song or a "poor me I'm sad" song or a "why did you leave me for him/her" song. Or it could just be an "i'm depressed" song.

2. Driving song- a day like today, windows down, in no particular hurry.

3. Adrenaline song- about to ski a double black, surf big waves, jump off a cliff, run a race, etc.

4. Unintentional God song- a song that is spiritually inspirational even if it is not meant to be.

5. I Would Rather Not Admit I Like This song- one your parents like, or is by N'Sync, or is often played at weddings

6. I Wish I Could Play That song- one that even non-musicians realize is instrumental genius.

7. I Love My Spouse/Dog/Kid When I Hear This song- it could be "our song", one that reminds you of your baby, one that makes you tear up when you're alone.

The idea here is that we all get to broaden our musical exposure. Read the suggestions and sample them on itunes or something. Maybe we could make a mix tape with all of them on it.

Dog Stuff

2009-02-14T11:56:00.004-06:00

So we have pretty much completely become "dog people." It seems like all we ever talk about anymore is our dog. Not that I have a problem with that. I love my dog. In fact with all of the bus drama going around these days it's nice to have something to talk about that's completely unrelated.

One of the things I really like is how we've renamed alot of things around here from Ray's perspective. Some of my favorites (and I'll use = for Jeremy's benefit):

* "The Pee Field" = pretty self-explanatory I think.

* "The Poop Field" = ditto

* "The Neutral Zone" = a little field that is bordered by the Grand Canal, the Poop Field, the Big Lake, and the Animal Field. I like to think of it as the center of New Town.

* "The Animal Field" = a square here in New Town that is now home to some of the animals from the old Noah's Ark restaraunt in St. Charles, a prairie-type environment, a playground, a couple little ponds, and a big open field.

* "The Corridors of Temptation" = pathways contained within the Animal Field that are home to a whole lot of bunnies, mulch, and poop. Which are all things Ray is very interested in.

* "The Fields of Freedom" = fields in the back of New Town where Ray is allowed to walk wherever he wants, smell everything, snarfle, lay down, etc.(The rest of the time that we walk I make him walk right next to me.)

* "The Office" = the landing on the staircase in our apartment. Probably Ray's favorite place in our home. He likes to take his work and/or toys up there. It's kinda like his little cave but he can still look down and see us on the couch.

* "Work" = a bone. Ray really enjoys working.

* "Snarfle" = attempting to scratch one's face/back by rubbing them on the bed/couch/carpet/grass/etc and rolling around. Usually accompanied by a snortlike sound.

I need to get that program that lets you write on a map so I can post a visual aide.

Irene pukes a lot...and I'm getting ready to get off the bus

2009-01-28T18:27:00.011-06:00

(after consulting with my brother, he reminded me of the "bus metaphor" and how I am packing my things and preparing to get off at the next stop. I have no idea where/when the next stop is, but this crazy bus ride is about to be over...)

Irene goes through about 3 outfits per day and at least 5 bibs. She pukes, spits up, and generally drools all over her clothes. If I were to puke onto the blog it would sound something like this:

-the city of memphis shut down today because there was 3/4 of an inch of ice/snow. the streets were fine. there was slush on some overpasses. you gotta love the south.

-the board of directors at Crichton voted to drop the traditional day student program to focus on the adult evening program...Crichton will be more like a part-time, adult learner, commuter school. there will be no more athletic programs. I am on the job hunt. would love to stay in college coaching and have a few leads but am open to anything. like a sail boat captain and/or a professional dad.

-Irene is super cute. She does new stuff every day. Lately she has started "dancing", signing, clapping, and I swear that she says "dada"...although that is up for debate as she calls a few things "dada"...

-We have started packing up the house. Regardless of what happens, we are 95% certain we will be leaving the house...I recommend moving twice in the span of 2-3 years. Whatever you don't throw away or use after the first move will definitely be tossed during the second one...

-I like it that one of my siblings has a child. I also like the way Shannon described how to say his name...this is my paraphrase: "...it is Ja Vee...but the J sounds like the S in 'measure' or 'pleasure'..."

-there was a guest pastor at church this past sunday. he spoke at 2 services. he did a DIFFERENT message for each one...has anyone EVER heard of such a thing?!

this is the snow that shut memphis down:

-Neal has a sister named Gwen

Little Xavi

2009-01-07T14:34:00.003-06:00

Well, as you can see,since my last post a lot has changed, quite a lot. On Saturday January 3, we woke up and Amie wasn't feeling so great. She was having little contractions and I had to go to the office to get a little work done. By the time I got home at 2:45 she wasn't feeling very well at all. It was getting worse and worse for her and so we headed to the hospital and arrived around 4:00pm.

On a side note driving to the hospital with a wife in labor is terrible. She is having contractions and every time she squeezed my hand the speedometer would jump up 10-20 mph. I was trying empathize with her, like when i have to go to the bathroom when i am driving and the pressure starts coming in waves. Rachel and I have had extensive conversation, and discussion on "the waves" of an Iwaszkowiec digestive system and both agree that if you make it through wave 4 you need to find a bathroom ASAP. But anyway, i think that kinda is comparable except with labor 100 times worse.

So anyway, we made it to the hospital, Amie got some drugs and felt better. We think her drugs started to wear off but are not certain, she just had some pain but ended up getting through it and delivering at 9:41 pm on January 3rd. She did awesome and it was cool to see her demeanor change when that little boy came out. He was 7 pounds 13 ounces at birth and was 19 and a half inches. Name: Conrad Xavier Iwaszkowiec (aka Xavi).

So we are glad he is here and he is cute and we like him a lot. Hopefully all you readers will get to meet him soon. But because i don't want to make this a baby blog, I thought i would just give insights from the past week.

Number 1 insight is that hospitals suck. I am not a fan of staying in them for long periods of time. I know that it is beneficial and helpful to have all these different specialists in a central location and to have a nice sterile environment. But can we just get a window that opens in every room!!! Just a little, enough to let in some fresh air. I hate hospital air, it is so terrible, almost as bad as the food.

Side note on hospital food: Amie got the chips and salsa quite a bit with her meals (for me of course). but the salsa wasn't the best, it was clearly street practice salsa. Ed got me thinking about teaching Xavi the proper techniques of putting bags of salsa in the road. This led to me thinking of creating a road salsa scale. Clearly this hospital salsa was used as practice salsa. It was too thick, didn't have a good taste. It could probably splatter ok, but you would only want to use this on backroads where you would get some rusty pickup running over it. Pace on the other hand is a step up in the salsa scale, you can use Pace in subdivisions and small towns and cities, it is a good consistency to get that family sized minivan withe excellent wheel coverage. I wondered what would be the creme de la creme of salsa? What would you put on Michigan Avenue for that Mercedes to Run over? Or in Times Square for that Rolls to get all over its tires? I think we need to discuss this. I was thinking Los's mango salsa would probably be up on that top tier of salsa worthy to be placed in the big cities.

Anyway, that has been one thing occupying my mind lately, feel free to offer input as you see fit. back to other weekly insights, I miss sleep. We used to get along, he would come visit, we would hang out for about 8 hours, it was nice. Lately he hasn't come too often. Maybe sleep is mad that i had a child, he is jealous, or upset, regardless sleep needs to come back and work through this with me. We can do this, i believe it to be possible.

Last Friday Amie and I finally got our internet/tv service. A few things, High Definition is great and i am slowly getting spoiled by it. DVR's are the best inventions ever!!! Mom and Dad came by to watch the biggest loser (an excuse to come over and see their grandchild) but the brought dinner with them as well. So anyway, we weren't done and the show was about to start and then i was like wait a second "I can record it." It was lovely, we took our time eating and then got through all the commercials, I love it. Probably the second best thing that i got this week.

Well, if you have read all this congrats to you, you must be really really bored. I am off to take a nap, and i tried to upload more photos but with no luck. I will try again later. Also, if anyone else wants to contribute don't feel bad about knocking this post down, it won't hurt my feelings.

Arrival is Imminent

2008-12-25T11:55:00.003-06:00

Just when this blog was on the verge of death and disappearing into the abyss, I have come to snatch it back. To raise it up to the prominence it once enjoyed. In this season, when the world seems like it is headed for breakdown, when blogs are popping up left and right, come to Bloggy and find hope, life, and love.

Lots to catch up on, lots to share, and lots to make fun of. As most readers know Horton v2.0 (bigger, stronger, more Hortony) is expected in the next few weeks. Amie and I are very excited and can’t wait to meet him. Perhaps the worst thing about people knowing you are going to have a child is all the advice/stories you here. For all the stories we have heard about people with “birth plans” and “this is how we had planned it”, it just makes me want to laugh. I think the best advice that I have never received is “Be prepared to not be prepared.” Also, this is a great preparation video too (the end is gross/not funny, but the rest is pretty good)

Amie and I went to a birth class (which was funny in many ways, sad in a few, and gross throughout). Funny in that we seemed to be one of the only couples ok with not “knowing” everything. I swear that you could probably take a class on just about anything and some of these people do. This also qualifies as one of the “sad” things. Other sad things included everyone at the class being quiet/anti-social. It was a room of like 5 couples and it was quiet and awkward most of the time.

As I am writing this right now, my father is dancing around the room while listening to the CD/DVD that Rachel got him for Christmas. I just thought it was worth noting. Thanks Rach!!! I wonder if C.S. Lewis had to deal with this. I doubt it. It isn’t annoying at all. They should make a gameshow called “Who Wants to Be a Writer.” and lock them in a house with Carlos when he doesn’t have to work for 2 weeks and see who still wants to be a writer after that.

So anyway, back to birth class. I am aware that it is a lovely extraordinary event, but it is also gross and I don’t understand why people videotape it. Do they ever pull it out and are like “Hey kids who wants to watch their birth?” I just don’t want to, and I will abide by Amie’s strict no picture in the delivery room policy, but maybe she will be too drugged up to notice if I snap a few post birth pictures.

Other notable events from the past month:

1. My company party. It was awesome. We have yet to feel the “crunch” of the economy although I am sure it will happen sometime. But we had a lovely time at the City Museum with free drinks/food. It was a very enjoyable experience and everyone seemed to have a great time. Too bad Amie couldn’t participate in all the activities, but she enjoyed herself nonetheless. Our first “date” post baby will definitely include a rare steak and a mixed drink for her.

2. Amie’s company/school party: while not nearly being as fun as mine, it was still enjoyable and never fails to provide stories/exchanges/experiences I would never ever have except at a Christian school party. The things are all the more humorous in that my work is pretty much the exact opposite of what I hear from Amie’s school. It is enough to make me hate politics (which I do), both sides Kool-aid taste equally terrible but they don’t get it. Enough about that.

3. Driving to IKEA for the day: I don’t think I can really talk about how awesome Amie has been with RHv2.0. We drove to IKEA for some furniture for our new place. We didn’t want to stay in Chicago so we drove up and back the same day. It was 9 hours in the car (stopping quite a bit) and 3 hours at the store. It was totally worth it, we were able to buy another piece of furniture with the money we saved on shipping. We like the stuff and perhaps I will post pictures if when we get internet at the apartment. Also, I am thinking of starting an IKEA courier service to Saint Louis, I wonder if that could work.

4. Moved to a new place: we left 407 and our now in an apartment which cuts my commute in half (which is awesome) and allows us to save some cash and get back in the swing of paying bills and such again. I don’t recommend moving when your wife is 7-8 months pregnant, just not a good idea, but we made it work and luckily a lot of our furniture can be moved by one person so that is nice. The bad things are that we have signed up for internet service and won’t have it installed for another week. This will mean we have lived there for a month without internet/TV. Welcome to 1995!!!! Really, it sucks. I think Internet is probably the best invention ever; it is so awesome that they didn’t even believe of putting it in Back to the Future.

Speaking of Back to the future check out this Teen Wolf parody (it is funny, but the language is pg13/R rated so keep it away from the kids).

I will be setting up a calendar/pool, not for money as much for the fun of guessing the baby’s birthday, so comment on when you think XM will be born and you may win a prize of my choosing. The due date is January 12th so keep that in mind. Happy Christmas and don’t forget to get your votes in!!!

What is your point of reference?

2008-12-02T13:42:00.006-06:00

I know that a lot of us were together over the Thanksgiving weekend, but I thought I would share some of my experiences from my point of reference:

-we timed the driving with Irene's nap time. Her morning nap is mostly predictable/reliable and she'll be asleep for 2-3 hours. this was brilliant. She slept like a champ on the way up. We made it all the way to Cape G and the glorious PANERA without her stirring! (Memphis is getting our first Panera on Dec 8th...we are rejoicing)...timing drive time with nap time is a good thing.

-babies are fun. we are excited for xavi, jr's birth. from here on out, at our family functions, we will sit and stare and play with and talk about and fuss over little ones. we enjoyed sharing Irene with everyone. she really is a good baby and we were happy that she was (mostly) good for everyone!

-football was fun (and funny) this year. although the teams seemed fairly well balanced, my team definitely piled on the points in the first half (and beginning of second)...other team came back but I still thought it was odd. Anyway, also odd not to have more females out there...Kim lasted 5 minutes before baby Vest needed her. No Cindy who was mom/photographer for the morning. no Welton/Misuraca womens...you were missed...but it was fun to have the whole SUMMIT church out there. go greg. bring the people. also, no juan carlos who was nursing injuries. no MGW for silly shenanigans and at least one (too) intense moment with jon or greg...although the tree play was worked to prefection!

-thanksgiving food is good. I like stuffing. we wondered why stuffing really isn't eaten at other times??? it is good. it should be consumed more often.

-post turkey naps are good. I am not a napper in any, way, shape, or form, but I was sucked into a post-turkey nap like it was a black hole. I had no choice.

-PIG OUT is a funny game...level of enjoyment definitely depends on fellow players. I had a great time with both groups...one small, one large. go here for a quick fix: http://www.toptrumps.com/play/pigs/pigs.html

-extended family are funny. it was great to see everyone and introduce baby irene to them...

-Ray is a really cute dog...and I mean NO harm by this, but I just prefer small dogs. personal preference mostly. it will be fun to see him next time and see how he has "settled" into your family.

-driving (or flying) home is never as fun as driving toward...

-fun to see Xavi/Amie's apartment...IKEA furniture was great! also, we can skateboard in your basement next time!

(random end note: good to hear MGW and Vicstress were not stranded in Thailand...hope the kiwis are treating you well. watch out for any orks, hobbits, and riders of rohan)

Sri Lonkan Midgets & Red Barns

2008-11-19T12:22:00.005-06:00

in anticipation for the football games to be played on Thanksgiving day, I thought I'd post some pix that my dad recently passed on...

I'm not sure what I like more, the tube socks or the awesome landscaping...

TMZ

2008-11-06T11:09:00.000-06:00

Is my new favorite show, it's really funny. Neal has a sister named Gwynne.

It's always sunny in Seattle.

2008-10-26T19:31:00.013-06:00

So everyone who hears about Seattle inevitably says, "Isn't the weather terrible up there? I heard it is always rainy and cloudy." I think this is a lie made up by Seattlites in an attempt to keep the rest of the country from moving up to live there.

Before I get to much into the post I want to apologize to those who want to see pictures and updates of Carlos and the new bench or Jeff and Amie’s fruit picking extravaganza, you got humpbacked.

This post is going to be all about the trip to Seattle and all the exciting, fun, new things we saw, experienced and did. Please check out the other trip experience on my sister's blog which has her thoughts on our visit.

So the wife and I went up to visit the sister and had a lovely time. We “upgraded” on the way there and I couldn’t have enjoyed it more. I think knowing what goes on in first class has forever tainted me. It was terrible flying with the other peasants the way home, crammed in my hot little corral. But the upgrade definitely started the trip off on the right foot and has forever made it difficult to travel in “economy” class. I could go on and on about this, but I won’t.

(Also, as a side note to any pilots who may be reading this blog; Please, please, PLEASE keep your airplane temperature cool. I swear on the way back the temperature on the plane was around 80 degrees. It was terrible. Remember, you would rather your passengers add clothes/blankets than take them off.)

So we got to Seattle and saw my sister and it ended up being your "typical" Seattle weather of grayness and clouds. We walked all around Ballard (where she lives) and saw many sights and sounds. It was a lot of walking and my shoes from the plane probably shouldn’t have been worn that day as my feet really hurt at the end of the day.

We walked to the Salmon Ladder and the Locks. It was pretty neat and different. It was past the normal salmon migration time and so all that was left was one poor salmon who probably wasn’t going to make it home. We encouraged him as best we could but I just had a bad feeling he was going to end up on someone’s dinner plate. I am sure he would be delicious.

That night we had dinner at Ray’s Boathouse, which was excellent, and had a lovely view. We enjoyed hanging out with our hypothetical best couple friends, Dora and Stephen. Hypothetical because Rachel said if we lived near them we would all get along and be good “couple friends”. But it was a good time and we enjoyed the food, drinks and company. But the night had to come to an end, Rache had to work the next day and therefore needed to be in bed by 9:00 so we called it a night and went to our Hotel.

Interesting note about our hotel: it was a haven for the hearing impaired. I don’t know if there was a deaf/hearing impaired convention going on that weekend in Seattle or if it is just “the place to stay” for members of that community, but it was full of deaf people. The breakfast at the hotel was delicious and it was cool to see all the conversations going on throughout the breakfast room and not hear them.

Friday we got up and began our day by having a filling breakfast because we knew we would need the nourishment for our journey around the city. We set out from our hotel and got half a block before we realized we didn't have a map. I convinced Amie that we didn't need it and we headed off trying to find one of the most famous tourist spots: Pike's Market. I knew the general direction/area to go, but Amie was a little frustrated with me for not getting a map, especially as we climbed up on of the hills of downtown Seattle. Just as I could see her frustration starting to show through what sign do we see? Of course the one we were looking for:

It was a good feeling to have my internal GPS system validated. It shows that I still got it. Just let me see some Google maps for a few minutes and i am good to go. Watch out Tom Tom, Jeff Jeff is coming for you.

Pike's Market was fun and we enjoyed the sights, sounds, and smells. I recommend it to anyone who goes up there. It is a great experience. After Pike's we walked down to the waterfront and decided to head into the aquarium. We also took a harbor tour which was a nice informative event. We learned all about the harbor and the piers and what each one was used for. Ports are pretty cool, I wish i had a boat and did harbor things.

After that we had some food near the market and headed towards the needle. The space needle isn't that impressive, although their was a pan-flute band selling their CD's near it. They sounded pretty good. But we didn't go up in the needle as it was pretty pricey and we had just seen the city and didn't want to see it from a needle.

That night we went to have dinner with a friend of mine who moved up there. I don't want to recount the terror that is the a 2 hour car ride of only 20 miles. It was terrible. The dinner itself was nice and uneventful, but it was good to catch up with my friend and his wife.

The next day was Whale Day! We were very excited for this trip and the weather was nice, again not "typical" Washington weather. We drove up north and went to Anacortes (I call it Ana Cortez, even if that isn't the proper pronunciation.) Take a look at this map for information about our trip:

Rachel did a great job of describing the whale trip. We went during peak humpback season and saw precisely zero humpbacks. This led to the creation of the term "humpbacked" to describe any time that an event that is supposed to happen never materializes. For instance "Mizzou really humpbacked me in that game against Texas." or "I got humpbacked at work regarding that raise". Feel free to use it and help it catch on.

Also, we saw a couple of "stinky minkes" which led to creation of the term "minke" to describe anytime you create a foul odor. For instance "I just minked." or my favorite (replacing "I am going to check out some guests") "I am going minke hunting."

The whale watching trip, while noticeably missing whales, was an excellent time and I would love to go on another. The views were spectacular as was the people watching. Some pictures of our Whale watching trip:

Overall it was a good experience that i recommend.

The next day we went to church with Rachel and then flew home. It was a great trip and we really enjoyed it. If you have the time and money I think you should get out there and say hello.

Ashes to Ashes.

2008-10-07T17:50:00.007-06:00

For those unfamiliar with the happenings when Carlos goes out of town let me catch you up.

September 1984: Carlos leaves home and comes back to a daughter.

Between 1984-1995: Carlos leaves the home and comes home to a dog known as Pudsie (hopefully enjoying his new life as a shopkeeper in Kyoto).

1995: Carlos leaves the home and comes home to a dog that we all know and love as Tessa.

So for those keeping track at home, when Carlos leaves things happen. This latest trip was no exception. My mind was full of different ideas that I could fulfill while he is away. The attic, the patio, the storage room, the garage, the possibilities seemed endless. Which job do you tackle? Well for reasons that will become clear to you. I decided to work on the garage. The garage is a place of mystery, similar to the Bermuda triangle in that things will enter and never be found again or you will find things from times of old. Some fun finds include:

Tools possibly pre-dating the Great Depression (allegedly worth lots of money because they are so old).

A car part in the original packaging. The funny part is the newest car mentioned on the back of this package is a 1984 Pontiac.

A plethora of old rusty hangers bent into various shapes (I didn’t throw nearly enough of these away because they really are probably the most useful tools out there).
A Record book which included dates of oil changes and maintenance to “the van” and other old vehicles.

It was the find of this book that really cemented that I had made the right choice in doing a “clean sweep” in parts of the garage. This record book showed me that there exists in some deep part of Carlos a man who desires organization and order and maybe, just maybe by bringing some order back to the garage I could bring part of him back. One major hurdle stood in my way.

The bench.

He had a bench in there.

A bench that he made before I was even brought into this world.

A bench that had withstood the hot humid summers and frigid dry winters.

Year after year that bench stood as a sentinel to the family and cars that came and went. The Saab, the Van, the Tercel, the Other Van, the Maxima, the Acura, The Rattler, The Samurai, the Saturn, and others whose names I can’t even remember.

The Bench was the protector, the vanguard of “the corner” from which all disorganization of the garage came. The corner was nigh impenetrable while the bench stood in its way. I knew it was going to be a fight. Sure enough it took a few days of a open garage while space was made and things were cleared to where I could move the bench out and assault the corner. Once the Bench and Corner were separated they fell easily as their power was in their proximity. The corner shelves hung on with every bent nail clinging desperately in an attempt to avoid the fires that awaited them. But in the end the corner and bench were both vanquished and met their Missouri/Viking Burial.After I destroyed the Bench I felt more than a twinge of sorrow as this old member of the family met its end. In the end my sadness did not linger as I realized in the ashes and dust of the old bench a new bench can be reborn.

A phoenix to rise from the Ashes…

…and I know just the man to build it.

There was quite a lot of stuff that had gathered on the bench and in the corner that is amusing and not mentioned. We did not throw away nearly what we could have and I want to stress the job is not finished in that it needs the master to come home and make it his own space.

Where the hell is MGW?

2008-09-28T15:30:00.010-06:00

First, congrats to baby Vest and baby Repking…good times. good times. you will be exhausted for a while. Get used to it.

Second, I am not into posting videos but this one is special. Putting it on this blog works on like 8 different levels…most obvious is that it answers the question where Matt has been...I am curious to hear some thoughts (not guided by my own at first) on this so I will hold off on any more and then offer my own insights in a comment or two:

if you have as many questions as I did about this, go check out: www.wherethehellismatt.com and look at the FAQ's...

More New Additions to the Family

2008-09-22T20:00:00.007-06:00

All right nerds, I'm sorry that apparently none of you have anything better to do than read blogs. That being said, here goes....

First of all you need to listen to this song (go here and look for the song Missouri), which is both an ode to the great state that we live in and to a certain football team that is 4-0 and looking darn good. Some might even say unstoppable. The first big test is in 2 weeks @ Nebraska but I'm feeling pretty confident.

And now for the big news, I know that we said we didn’t want this blog to turn into a baby blog and everything but we have an announcement to make. Our little family is expanding….

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you all to my new wakeboard. It is a Slingshot Recoil, 142cm long, 45cm wide, and has a 3 stage rocker. It arrived a week overdue, but it was in perfect health.

One of the guys I ride with demo'd one this summer and I tried it out and loved it. It was easily the most fun board I have ever ridden. When you hit the wake it's like jumping on a trampoline. And the landings are very forgiving too. So, a website that I like to look at from time to time, BoardersBestBuy.com, had a deal on this board that I simply couldn't pass up. I finally got to ride it this afternoon, and it was super fun. Of course, the conditions didn't hurt either. Hardly anyone else was out on the lake. I rode from one end of the LSL to the other without seeing another boat. Fall is awesome. Air and water are still pretty warm, but everyone thinks summer is over. Which I don't mind at all. Hopefully, we'll be able to ride until November.

In other non-wakeboard related news, this past weekend Johanna and I joined Greg and Kim in ....CROSSING THE RIVER!!! We all went to my favorite Brasilian restaraunt (in St. Louis), Yemanja. It was excellent as always. I recommend the Torradinhas, Empanadas, and the Lombo. We had alot of fun and it's pretty crazy to think that in 4 days Greg and Kim are going to have a baby. But it's cool and we're really happy for them.

As for a Guammy-like post on our upcoming journey to Memphis, clearly you don't remember much about Memphis, Greg. Anyway, I doubt I'll be able to pull Johanna away from Sparky long enough to see much of anything.

Mdub has apparently forsaken Bloggy. Once he refused to post a thing and his comments were rambling, misspelled works of inside-joke-laden art. Now he writes 5 millon word long posts on his travels and leaves us wondering if he ever works at all. And while I'm speaking of comments, a certain brother of mine (whose name rhymes with shmorton) feels that JC00265139876589567 and Jar Jar Binks comments have become indistinguishable from each other. I suppose there is some truth to this but I can offer a couple key "tells" to help the readers of the network figure out who's who. IF someone seems to RANDOMLY capitalize WORDS and to confuse the WEATHER patterns of the PACIFIC northwest with THOSE of Minnesota, it's SPARKY'S dad. If they comment first, it's JC0086300288t5278232.

Jews, Orchards, and Prophets

2008-08-25T19:49:00.005-06:00

"And it came to pass on the 25th day of 8th month of 8th year of the 2nd millennia on the sixth story in a small dark room I had a vision. The oracle known as Sue used her strange liquids and wands and looked deep into the bowels of my wife. As she passed her wand over my wife's stomach an image began to form. "An arm... a leg... a head...",the oracle spoke each body part as she saw it. "A healthy child you have" Sue the oracle told us. She continued to look over the child gazing at its spine, skull, and stomach. As she looked over the child she finally said, "Ahh...you will have a Son as prophesied by Jon of Newtown."

That is pretty much how it went down today, except with more mist and a more cave like atmosphere. I tell you those ultrasound lady's like to keep it dramatic. So anyway, those of you who guessed xy as opposed to xx get a prize, that i haven't figured out yet. I, Joff Roy Horton, am going to have a son. Hide your salsa.

So that is very exciting and we can't wait to meet the little guy and now we get the fun of naming him, we have many of ideas but aren't sure which way to go. But we will all find out soon enough and he will be causing subdivision mischief before you know it. Also just let it be known that Jon of Newtown is now 2-0 when calling sibling births.

Anyway, I wanted to write some other stuff regarding recent events that I participated in over the past weekend.

The first was that on Saturday night (after attending a lovely polynesian dance recital) I went to a co-workers house party. Kid and Play were not present, but the evening was one of the more ones in recent memory. Amie and I arrived 15 minutes late, which turned out to be 30 minutes early and so we got to sit and hang out with the limited guests. Anyway, the guy whose house it was, is Jewish and as more and more attendees began to show up I realized 1.) I was early because it was the sabbath. 2.) I was lacking in the facial hair department. and 3.) Jewish peoples names can be difficult to pronounce/remember. I should clarify that I remembered the name to be odd (to me), but not how to say it correctly. But overall I like the Jewish culture, they know how to drink and have a good time. It was a good experience and I feel like I have some in common with them, well until we get to the New Testament ...but they had funny stories they told about synagogue that were strangely simliar to the ones we tell about church. I felt that the night broadened my horizons and that was good.

Anyway, the following day Amie and I went Peach/Blackberry picking at Eckerts Farm in Grafton Illinois. It was a rough beginning as we waited over 45 minutes to take the ferry across the river. 45 minutes!!! I could've driven the entire way and been there before the boat. I don't know what led to said Ferry taking so long, perhaps it tipped over because it had too many goods. I don't know, but it led me to be a little frustrated. Also once in Grafton traffic was terrible which led to more frustration (Bikers, Boats, and touristy walkers lead to traffic problems). So I was thinking that the place would be packed but it is just the opposite almost totally empty. It was pretty sweet in that we got to go and pick with no one else really around at all.

The picking of fruit/food got me thinking: "Do people in other countries find it odd that we pay to go pick fruit and think that it is fun? Why did the Asian family in front of me buy over 100 dollars of peaches? Were they having a peach party? Were they celebrating the closing of the olympics with peaches? Do Asians just like to eat peaches? Why was the worker from eckerts overweight if he worked on a farm, that doesn't seem right. I think Carlos would like to come to eckerts if he could drink wine."

After that we avoided the ferries and just stayed on land for the trip home. Stopping at Chuckaburger for a lovely late lunch. Anyway, I will have some pictures of the peach extravaganza soon.

All will be revealed....

2008-08-24T17:49:00.002-06:00

So tomorrow is the day. Whether or not the child of my loins will be male or female. I just hope it is healthy. The "Network" will grow.

I feel like I need to add some content to this post so it will be a beginning of the week/end of the Olympics poll:

Will Horton/Joff/Xavi's child will be a male or female?

What will Americans watch/talk about now that the Olympics are over?

Jamaica Track Team: Natural or Doping?

What will Carlos's first comment on this post be?

New Olympic Sport you would like to see in 2012?

Pick a city that will never host the Olympics but that you would like to see host the Olympics?

What restaurant has the best french fries?

Have a great week....make sure to get answers in before tomorrows post!

"i'm at a loss for words..." but i'm gonna talk for 15 minutes

2008-08-17T22:28:00.005-06:00

Alright, I was gonna do a Welton comment but I decided to just do my own post in response to Sparky's Dad's musings on swimming. Yeah, it is cool that everyone wants to talk about swimming right now. And it is a cool and weird sport. One of the things I like best about it is that it is truly an individual sport. You can't blame your performance on anything or anyone else. There are no bad calls. Your performance is all you. You can't yell at the ref in Spanish and get kicked out of a swim meet.

I totally agree about the silver and bronze medal thing. If I got the silver medal and set an American Record, I would be ecstatic. Like if I was Cavic, I would have been stoked. The best swimmer ever BARELY touched me out to win. The only guy better than him is the best swimmer in the world, ever. I'd be ok with that.

And I also agree about comparing it to other sports. What Phelps did was incredible but you really can't compare it to any other sport. Swimming is swimming. He is easily the best swimmer in the world. But the best athlete? No. The best athlete is someone who excels at multiple sports. And I'm not sure who that is. Everything is so specialized now. People like Jim Brown, or better yet Jim Thorpe, aren't around anymore. Speaking of which, if you've never heard of Jim Thorpe, do a little research and read about him. I read an awesome book about him titled "Carlisle vs. Army." I highly recommend it. That guy was the MAN.

Anyway back to swimming, Johanna and I were talking about this and about if everything was equal - same suits, goggles, training, all at their peak, etc. - how awesome would a race between Phelps, Spitz, Johnny Weismuller and Duke Kahanamoku be?

I don't know how Phelps won the 100 fly but it was my favorite race to watch. And when he came off the wall at the 50 I knew he had it. Phelps' reaction to winning that race was the best. And his mom's was classic too.

I haven't worn the super cool new suits, so I really can't comment on them. And I also don't know what they do to girls' boobs. I would imagine that the suits are pretty tight though.

Shot at Neal. Nice.

Soccer players trying to stretch like swimmers makes for high comedy I would imagine.

Rowdy and Andrea need to go away.

Water depth, temperature, and drainage really DO make a pool fast or slow.

Lastly, thanks for the props. Swimming is awesome. I'll leave you with something to think about: Sparky = gonna be tall, big hands, big feet, pool in the backyard....it's not too early is all I'm saying.

Swimming is cool...and so are caves

2008-08-17T07:16:00.007-06:00

A swimmer just brought America to its knees...er...well, to its butts in front of our televisions anyway...and it was AWESOME! Michael Phelps was amazing. Go read this article. It is a bit long and requires you to invest 2-3 minutes of your time, but it is worth it.

(my favorite part is imagining sports bars and arenas tuning in every night...reminds me of the WORLD CUP/soccer)

but, I think swimming is odd. It is really cool and really weird all at the same time...here are a smattering of thoughts:

-I know this might not be the deal everywhere in the world, but in America (to the average person) why is swimming only cool at the olympics?

-Why does Andrea Kraemer insists on asking the dumbest/oddest questions she can think of?

-I hate it how we sometimes think silver or bronze or setting a new country record isn't good enough...the women's 4X100 medley team swam a GREAT race and set a new american record but got beat by the insanely fast Aussies (who might as well be all americans) and Andrea Kraemer was asking the team questions like they had lost and they sucked...ARE YOU KIDDING ME, they just swam incredibly fast and did what they wanted to do...someone beat them. that happens. celebrate how great they swam. (this happens alot in swimming...and especially when Andrea Kraemer has a microphone)

-how did Phelps win the 100fly?

-how did Lezak catch frenchie in the 4x100 relay?

-Janet Evans' record going down was pretty amazing too, that girl from britain SMASHED it...that Japanese breastroker was insanely good as well.

-Very cool how all the celebs were in the "cube" watching MP (lebron, kobe, president bush)

-I'm glad I don't have to listen to any more Dora Torres stories...

-Why does Jon hate Rowdy Gaines so much?

-Phelps' mom was super cute...I LOVED her reaction after at the 100fly, and that guy sitting in front of her that race was classic as well..

-I HATE how we compare athletes across sports..."michael phelps did something greater than winning the tour-de- france, more difficult than an ironman, more mentally tough than tiger woods, lebron james, blah blah blah..."...celebrate what athletes do in their own context. I think we would appreciate them more if we could do that...

-swimmers have shorter legs and really really long arms....that is sort of funny. (no offense Neal!?) :-)

-Shan wants to know what happens to women's boobs...are those suits really THAT TIGHT that they just get smashed in? and is that painful in any way?

-my soccer boys trying to impersonate Phelps' stretching routine was pretty funny...

Again, it was a fun ride watching mr phelps...my favorite image is the one of him celebrating after the 4x100 medley...that was pure passion in human muscle flexing form...the other image I want to take is his face/response after Ms Kraemer asked him another dumb question (yet again). I think the question had something to do with getting 8 golds (this was back when he only had 2 or 3) but his response was something like this, "...lady, I am happy. I am swimming really fast. and that is all that matters right now...I am a swimmer. and I'm doing what I love to do...if I get 8 golds great. but right now I just swam really fast. I am tired. and I am happy" (my paraphrase)...I love that because I think the craziest part about Phelps' journey must have been the mental part of it all. Staying "in the present" to focus on what he had to do for each race must have been tough. I can't imagine the "mental fortitude" (to mimick JCarlos)...and that is why I appreciate MP so much.

If there are any swimmers who might read this blog, please feel free to write your own olympic swimming posts (if you want)...I hope I didn't steal anyone's thunder....I really wanted to write this as sort of a "tribute" to you guys...swimmers rarely get any recognition, but you are stud athletes and mentally tough competitors (no doubt a little loopy too!)...and as boring as swim meets are, there are moments of brilliance and intensity and excitement that are special to the sport.

I wish I could have watched the races with you all...that would have been fun...

St. Charles Journal | News | St. Charles moves forward on community center

2008-08-10T14:15:00.000-06:00

St. Charles Journal News St. Charles moves forward on community center

An Important Public Service Announcement- Donut Holes to Make Triumphant Return

2008-08-10T13:51:00.004-06:00

This is a short public service announcement sure to bring hope to the hearts and minds of St. Charles area residents and visitors alike. The latest insider information we have pertains to the creation of a Community Center right here in the Chuck. While there can be no real replacement for the gem of a YMCA that we have, the best news is not in the workout facility or pool or whatever blah blah blah. The REAL story here is that the plans include the addition of a DUNKIN' DONUTS that will be ON SITE. Unbelievable I know. For those of us who have mourned the demise of a childhood institution and the scant availability of real donut holes, this is an honest reason for rejoicing. The news states that the convention center will be built at the current site of Chuck E Cheese and the defunct K-Mart and Big Lots (which may be the worst retail establishment ever). Fear not, plans are to relocate the Chuck E Cheese nearby. With no disrespect to our fond memories of cheap pizza and skee-ball, Chuck E Cheese never measured up to Showbiz and it has become a glorified Wal Mart lobby with 25 cent helicopter rides and bacteria ladened ball pits the only attraction for toddlers. And, for those who have not been to a modern Dunkin Donuts in recent years cannot begin to understand what we have been missing in the Lou since the last one (?) in Des Peres closed some time ago. We patronized one last fall in Philly before tailgating at a Penn State game and it has evolved into the best things that any breakfast establishment could offer. If you could imagine the Dunkin of old merged with STL Breadco (or Panera for non-St. Louisans), Starbucks and Jack in the Box. Same great donuts, good coffee, acceptable bagel selection and even greasy breakfast sandwiches for the morning after a bender. If this fantasy come true pans out, MGW will be longing for the pad at Sun Valley Lake and we will mourn having lived mere feet from this glorious new addition to our community. We will stay tuned to developments as they unfold...a new day has dawned for the Chuck.

ESPN News sucks

2008-07-29T20:44:00.003-06:00

Finally Xavi Has Come Back... To Bloggy!

So, enough baby stuff we are going to be moving back to the things that got us to where we are, the things that brought 20 comment posts, and the things that confused all our readers.

Anyway, I thought I would begin by giving you a few links to check out:

Showbiz Pizza Band Losing Their Innocence

Karate Kid Memories

Does anyone else think Ralph Macchio looks strangely like Jeremy at the end of that video or was it just me.

So, to catch people up we will find out about our child's sex at the end of this month and then a new blog will join the ever expanding network. But I am puzzled by whose blog is what? Whose blog is ESPN2 that is filled with nonsense shows of reporters yelling at each other and the second tier sporting events? Whose blog is ESPN Deportes that is all soccer and Spanish centric athletes? Whose blog is ESPNU that cover the obscure and odd college sports that football and basketball pay for? And lastly whose blog is ESPN News which is just a terrible terrible channel, do we really need Sportscenter 24 hours a day? These are the things that plague my mind...

Which leads to a second thought, Amie and I have begun house hunting and while the DIY network and HGTV are very helpful they don't answer the pressing questions...the real questions people need to ask when they are looking for a home. For instance, are the streets the right size (not to wide, not to narrow) so that salsa bag explosion will provide maximum tire coverage? Are there multiple routes of escape in the instance that a car stops after having a dirt clod hit it? Is the yard level enough for a game of round the house crouqet? These are the questions that I need answered.

In other news I attend the Live Off the Levee: O.A.R. concert with my wife and some friends. It was a nice evening in the middle of the Lou, probably one of the most recent times that a crowd that size of people under 40 has been downtown in quite some time. There was plenty of finger pointing and head nodding going around...and the beverage line gave the O'Fallon freedom fest a run for its money. The highlight of the night was quite possibly the walk back to the car.

The area we parked in was full of other people parking when we went down, but we waited a bit to let the crowds thin out and by the time we were walking back to the car it was very much like a movie where the white couple is walking down abandoned streets and the psycho was going to pop out and take us. But we made it safely back to the car and we got home without a problem.

Also this month JC00, or whatever he calls himself, is on lots of missions and will be in and out of the area multiple times...that means multiple house project/cleanings and perhaps some gardening. For those unaware, Carlos thinks that the only weed is crabgrass and therefore lets everything grow claiming it is a fractal but if you check that link you will be made aware of what a fractal truly is...it isn't just letting everything grow and calling it a fractal (and yes I am aware that Carlos will respond to these musings(and yes i am aware it will probably be the first comment)).

We are having a super awesome garage sale on saturday, so be sure to stop by and we will cut you a deal!

3 guesses and first 2 don't count...

2008-07-22T18:46:00.002-06:00

...who gave Sparky this kit?

we have no club loyalties and will wear any and all gear/kits given. but we love the brasil kit and will be hard pressed to support other nations...except for the USA...

(and we posted new pix at teamiwas)

Expanding the Network

2008-07-16T16:53:00.005-06:00

ESPN revolutionized televised sports. They started small and then expanded to included ESPN2, ESPN CLASSIC, ESPN X-treme, ESPN DESPORTES, ESPN bowling/fishing/olympic sports/andanyothersportsyoucanthinikofnetwork...

I am not saying that BLOGGY is as BIG as ESPN, but our little network is expanding...and I'm happy to partake in the expansion.

mostly set up for picture page viewing pleasures, but also following all rules of parent etiquette these days that state you MUST set up a BLOG chronicling every poop, sneeze, smile, and wink that your baby performs, we HAVE A BLOG...check it out and enjoy the pictures.

the launch might be premature, as we're still figuring templates, colors, fonts, etc...so things may change, but the people have spoken and they want pix of our baby girl...so go check out:

team iwaszkowiec

(I will still be partaking in BLOGGY but felt I couldn't inundate with baby pix, shenanigans, or tom foolery)

LASTLY, ALSO wanted to give a shout out to my sister! We are so excited for her...very proud...and very sad she will be so far away. oh well, she will be rich and can fly home to see the little ones whenever she wants! well done sis...

"Sparky" is a GIRL

2008-07-10T21:16:00.006-06:00

Don't fret. I'm not going to hijack this blog and turn it into a baby-blog...but for those few readers who aren't on FACEBOOK or APARTMENT 5B, I AM going to announce the birth of Irene Hope Iwaszkowiec. She was born on July 9th at 11:26pm. weighing in a 9 lbs 0 oz...22 inches long...a big head...and huge hands/feet.

it was a long difficult day/labor. this isn't the place to share details, so if you want to know more, call me. mostly, I am thankful that the baby and momma are ok and recovering nicely.

the name: "Irene" is shannon's middle name...also her grandmother's name, who happens to be turning 90 years old on July 11th. Shannon and her have a sort of special/unique relationship and we are thrilled to name her after her! "Hope" is a name and 'concept' that we love. we believe in a "God of hope". the main motif for my master's degree focused on "hope-filled suffering" (basically that although alot of reality/the world seems to be pretty sucky, the bible speaks of creation as hope-filled and worth living for, because it was created, sustained, and will be redeemed by a God of hope). We later learned that "hope" is also the apparent english translation of my russian grandmother...2 grandmas = that pretty much stuck for her name!

here are some pix:

2008-07-06T14:53:00.001-06:00

Big Head Todd live from beautiful O'Fallon, MO

Best 4th of July EVER!!!

2008-07-05T22:48:00.002-06:00

This post is courtesy of an email from Mr. Greg Vest, the newest addition to our fantastic blog:

Since I hardly feel qualified to approach the netherworld of blogging or Facebook or MySpace (I'm always worried that the guy from Dateline: To Catch a Predator is monitoring MySpace and I may say something inappropriate) and since the internets are a technological marvel I avoid (I've only recently upgraded to expanded Matt TV that includes ESPN) I share thoughts the old fashioned way..the antiquated world of e-mail. What does it mean that Big L has more blogging experience than me? Oh yeah, he's retired. So I fully expect a full and detailed blog from Joff or Jon about The 2008 O'Fallon Heritage and Freedom Festival, or better known by the Gin Blossoms lead singer as "the best 4th of July EVER."

My first Big Head Todd show was perfect for a 30+ year old with a pregnant wife. Perfect weather, sitting in a lawn chair and drinking beer with good people. Resignation Superman, Please Don't Tell Her ( I Love Her), Broken-Hearted Savior were great live. Somehow, in the 45 minutes between BHT and Candlebox, the hoosier element increased ten-fold. I did not realize that the people who like Ted Nugent, Sammy Hagar and Korn also like Candlebox. Luckily we were not right at the front of the stage so we saw fewer women flashing their girls and giving the forefinger/pinky salute to the devil. As the sun went down and our group grew to include Brian and Cindy and Lily, Joff and Amy and Xavi?, Jon and Johanna, Brandon and Angie and Kaylyn (in utero), we were struck with nostalgia of Matt and Vicki's fateful beginnings as the anticipation of great mid-90's music was building. They played the good ones minus 29...Allison Road, I Found Out About You ( I forgot about that one!), Hey Jealousy, Until I Fall Away, etc....The last time we saw them was a long damn time ago. Crazy.

Though we have tried for 6+ years to be in a place to attend a newborn class at St. John's, I was ill-prepared for the shocking realizations we experienced today. Luckily, we attended the class with Brandon and Angie (and a few other pregnant couples, one that included Mr. Sourpuss himself). Attending a family member's funeral would be funny if Brandon was there. Tell Joff I can't wait to read his blog entries after attending such classes. And he should name his first son Billy Ruben since Brandon and I ( and maybe Jar?) are having girls. Billy Ruben (or scientifically bilirubin) has something to do with the liver and jaundice. Rachel could probably explain it to you. After seeing detailed photos of circumcision, i question the accepted practice in our culture. The first nine days of a boys life are spent experiencing a black and blue pecker that may or may not be infected with excruciating pain in the special regions. Would it be better at 13? With the newly detailed scientific advances in child-rearing, it's a wonder any of us are alive to read this. We drank from plastic bottles that should have scarred our brains, we were given tylenol in large enough doses to put us to sleep, we rode standing on the back seat of the car as soon as we could stand (or tumbling around the back of the station wagon were you lucky enough to have one), we slept with the ever-dangerous blankets in our cribs and we ate in restaurants or flew on planes where there was a vaguely defined smoking section.

I guess this writing stuff really is cathartic, but so is solitaire and fantasy baseball. Jon, if there is some way to share these simple thoughts with the "blogosphere", I suppose I could learn. I mean, Big L does it, right? I look forward to your blog about the best 4th ever...Happy Birthday America, you are AWESOME! Matt, it would have been better were you there...seriously.

Wahoo, I mean....Bass???

2008-06-28T16:51:00.009-06:00

Xavi and I decided to try and catch our dinner today. Xavi brought his gear over to New Town, despite the treacherous floodwaters lurking off 370, and we journeyed to the front lakes. After 20 minutes of grueling casting we hit pay dirt. Joff caught what we think was a Rock Bass. It came in at a not-at-all respectable 6 ounces (maybe). We had hoped to have fish for dinner and to sell the excess meat to Marsalla's but Shakespeares Pizza over at the Wine Bar actually sounded alot better and I'm pretty sure that Marsalla's doesn't actually buy fish caught out of the New Town lakes. So we didn't have to beat the poor little guy to death, rather we let him return to his peaceful life in the lake.

The first part of our expedition was uneventful, a couple quick hits but no takers. We switched up our lures, I opened up a Schalfly, and we even got up and walked down the shore. Xavi finally decided to walk down the lake a bit more and about 5 minutes later the fish was on the line. It really didn't put up any fight at all and I didn't have to help Xavi one bit. In terms of great experiences, I had alot more fun wakeboarding this morning behind an X2. And Xavi probably had more excitement at the 4 softball games he played today. But fishing was kinda fun. We were worried that he might shake loose since he was so small but Xavi's skills were too much for the little fish to handle.

Sparky's first kit

2008-06-26T19:26:00.004-06:00

I don't have a lot to write about, but thought I would follow Xavi's advice and post something...and I TOO think Jon should not hold back and post his water-themed extravaganza. bring on the posts.

before I get to point of my post, some thoughts:

-where are MGW's legendary comments? all of a sudden GUAMMY takes all his creative juices and swallows them up in some deep sea fishing hole!? come on gumshoe. "we need you on this blog. we want you on this blog"

-congrats to team horton and the expecting of a little who. that is really exciting news. the universe might implode when the little one arrives. xavi as a dad...hold on to your hats...and your packets of salsa!

-the Big L's comments on MGW's last post were le...gen...(wait for it)...dary.

ok. here is the catalyst for posting. one of my players is from Manchester, England. His folks are visiting the states for a few weeks on "holiday"...they brought a gift for me/sparky...It is his first official strip:

(you can't really see it, but the small plastic bag to the side has black socks that match...)

I am not trying to put any pressure on any uncles or grampas or anything, but if you want to see sparky in "your colors", the bar has been set...

Floods and Babies

2008-06-24T19:46:00.005-06:00

So...seeing as this has been a neglected Blog wallowing in comment despair as all the cool kids flock to guammy with its sweet sidespike haircut, I decided to take back the popularity and bring us a new post.

Anyway, the big news...

Some Dutch say the end of the world will come in 2012...I say prepare for it in January of 2009 when the spawn of "Horton says What" will join this crazy planet. That is right, I am having a child. This is the last ultrasound picture which is obviously a little outdated as the child now undoubtedly has a head the size of a ping pong ball that is rapidly growing at an alarming rate.

But yes..it is exciting…yes I am nervous…yes it will be crazy…and hopefully I can answer all other questions in regards to this future Iwaszkowiec in a few more weeks as more information becomes available. The front running boy name is: Xavi Miletus…although I am not sure that is even spelled right. I like lots of girls names…don’t even know where to begin though.

Anyway, I figured this is a good jumpstart for all to begin anew on this crazy blog. Bring on some posts.

Boring Holiday Poll. and other stuff.

2008-05-26T12:03:00.003-06:00

shan is in MN visiting friends/family. I am bored.

today is memorial day.

It seems like I have a lot that I could blog about, but whenever I sit down and try, I go blank. nothing. nada is in my head. I think my brain is revolting from all the little things in there, like eligibility, budgets, recruiting, uniforms, etc...

so instead of writing something funny or witty, here are some questions I've been thinking about: (answers will follow at bottom)

1. what kind of car would you get if you could get any kind you wanted?

2. what are your favorite kind of chips?

3. what super power would be the best?

4. if you could be a professional in any sport, what would it be? and why?

5. what is the minimum age I can take Sparky into the swimming pool?

6. what is the best game to play while on vacation? for example, if one were in florida with one's family in a big house...

by the way, I just read, "Same Kind of Different As Me"...it is good. read it. also finished, NT Wright, "Surprised by Hope". ditto. read it and then reread it. well, parts of it anyway.

if you haven't already, go listen to Bill Simmons' most recent podcast with Chuck Klosterman.

answers:
1. don't know? but right now I'm secretly coveting a "smartcar"...or a HONDA FIT
2. Jalapeno Cheddar...pringles cheese'ums are 2nd place.
3. teleportation. hands down. breathing under water is a close second.
4. golf. travel to warm/beautiful places all the time. and golf is fun and you can play it until you're 75+.
5. I want to take Sparky in pool right away...I'm trying to research what chlorine does to newborns.
6. the "name game"? zubzub? whoonu? (also known as whoona)

ok. happy answering. I think I will head over to nana and grandad's house soon...good times. I told you I was bored.

"The Lake House" the hottest new show on television

2008-05-05T19:05:00.004-06:00

So...there have comments regarding the "timing" of this blog, and the fact that the "sick day poll" has been left up for so long. I would like to begin by answering these critics.

First off, many members of this blog (as well as many of the readers) have been in the presence of one another over the past few weekends. To write about events that everyone attended would be very odd. For example one post might read "Hey remember when we got lost in Memphis going down for Ben's wedding?" and we would have comments like "yea that was a good time" and then it would be awkward blog silence.

Or we could have said something like "Matt and Vicki's farewell party was good, I am really gonna miss them" which you be followed with something like "Yeah, it was fun, I'll miss them too." Again followed by awkward blog silence. To conclude this section, we can't instantly reminisce or talk about some event that many of us were at, it would just seem odd.

However I can talk about the recent excursion I had with my wife and friends to a land of fascination and wonder. Many of you know the wonderful land I speak of, The Lake of the Ozarks.

We made the usual 2-3 hour trek in around 4 hours, how is that possible you ask, well you have to stop multiple times. Our first stop took place in the beautiful area of Warrenton. The local eatery we chose was Sonic which apparently is “America’s Drive In”. The locals were very hospitable.

A few notes about Warrenton: 1. The Chinese buffet was the most populated eatery in the entire city, 2. the gas crunch is apparently hitting hard in Warrenton as it had an unusually high amount of walkers making their way from the hang-out of Warrenton (Super Wal-Mart). 3. This last post is not necessarily in Warrenton but near, The “Elvis is Alive” museum with the large cutout of Elvis out front was apparently sold and is relocating to Mississippi. The building’s owner (a creepy evangelist) is making it into a food pantry/drug rehab center which is noble but rumor has it that the Elvis cutout is now a Jesus cutout which I didn’t get to see because I wasn’t paying attention but next time I am going that way I am keeping my eyes peeled.

Our second stop was at the lovely city named “Kingdom City”. I don’t know what Kingdom the city represents; a few ideas are the kingdom of truckers, the kingdom of Hoosiers, the kingdom of parents whose children have to pee, or the kingdom of youth groups who need a place to stop on their way to camp. We saw all four of these groups represented in the kingdom. We also saw a contingent of Asians apparently looking for a new kingdom since they seemed to be lost and shocked that an American would hold a door open for them. Apparently McDonald’s are taking the place of churches in the new world as it is one of the new “safe places” that one runs to when they feel lost and alone.

The last stop we made on our way was in the city bearing my name, our state’s great capital, Jeff City. We stopped in perhaps the place everyone goes to get supplies for a lake trip of course I am talking of Wal-Mart. The sights and sounds of Wal-Mart are to terrifying and disturbing to be mentioned here. Needless to say we made it out with our supplies and finally arrived at the lake without a stop in the ever popular Eldon, Missouri.

We had an enjoyable time wandering the Osage Beach outlet mall in search of what all outlet mall shoppers want, “the perfect deal”. The perfect deal was not found, but some lovely purchases were made, and the day was capped off with chocolate covered goodness for all. (Side note: Any time a guy friend is eating a chocolate covered banana you have full go ahead to hurl as gay jokes at him as possible while he eats the banana).

Saturday night we were back at the Lake House, which we decided would be an excellent idea for a show/book. If I ever have a vacation home I will leave a book in which everyone must write a synopsis of what occurred while they were there. For instance, “This week on the Lake House, Jeff snores real loud and people hear him over the TV. How will Amie respond? Find out next!” I think this show could take off.

Anyway, in ending I have a question for any medical personal/lifeguards, at what temperature does hypothermia set in? What would say the temperature of a lake need to be, and how long would one need to be in it before they were in trouble?

These questions are purely hypothetical as only and idiot would go swimming in the Lake of the Ozarks at this time of year.

(After further research on hypothermia from the infallible Wikipedia it is quite possible my swimming companion may have had stage one hypothermia, but she is fine now.
And now I know about it and knowing is half the battle.)

Sick Day Poll

2008-04-11T13:16:00.002-06:00

Well I'm home sick today and bored out of my mind. I'm pretty sure that I have pneumonia, or some similar upper respiratory infection type thing (I'm pretty sure it's pneumonia because a couple people I work with have it, it's highly contagious apparently, and I've displayed almost all of the symptoms according to WebMD). Coughing all night is great fun. Even more fun is sitting around all day not being able to do anything on my days off. And as anyone who went to college knows, doing nothing is only fun when you have lots of stuff to do. I'm not even missing work because I have Fridays off....(sigh).

So I'm going to steal an idea from my favorite radio show and administer a "sick day poll." I just enjoyed a Shakespeare's pizza for lunch and I'm watching Transgression (yes, again) and wishing it was summer. So that will explain questions 1 and 2 and my answers. Anyway here goes, feel free to answer all of following:

1) What's your favorite pizza place?

2) What's the best season?

3) Should Jon and Jo get a dog, a baby, or a piano?

4) What are you going to do with your check from George Bush?

5) Are the Cardinals for real?

You already know my thoughts on 1 and 2, for 3 I would say dog right now, I'm getting new tires for my truck courtesy of W, and for 5, yeah I think they are.

Dumplestiltskin back again...check it wreck it let's begin...

2008-04-08T20:18:00.004-06:00

I promise nothing in this post except randomness...

1. I'm going to have a "monkey baby". not really, but that is what Shannon called it. we got another ultrasound today at 27.5 weeks (to check the location of the placenta = riveting/fascinating tidbit of information for our readers) and learned some fun things. one of which is that our kid has long toes. really really long toes. I think this is cute and will be fun to have the little one grab us with his finger-toes. Shan thinks it is weird that Sparky will be swinging from the trees.

2. my cousin, who reads this blog and sometime comments but shall remain nameless had a great insight about blogging. This is my paraphrase and I hope I do him justice: two things have to happen for good blogging. first, one has to have the desire and/or content. second, one has to have the time to write. very rarely (if ever) do we have both at the same moment. "bingo" I say.

C. Blue Man Group's comment on the last post (comment #13) was hilarious...however I'm confused, are we not "real bloggers" here at bloggy mcbloggerson?

D. we recently went to Orlando, FL with the wife's family...the whole group was there (brothers, wives, kids, etc). On Saturday we all went to Disney World in our matching green t-shirts. not only were they matching green, but they had disney inspired character names for each of us on the back. the names of the character were supposed to say something about us. Mine was "Rafiki" (the monkey from the LION KING). My sister-in-law loved it and said it was perfect for me. My response to her was: "why is it perfect for me? Is it because I resemble a monkey? Or am sort of wise but sort of crazy? Or that nobody can tell if I’m either? Or that I like to sing when I talk AND I like to talk about myself in the 3rd person?"

E. Other Orlando highlights/thoughts:
-Disney World is tolerable with a niece/nephew whom you love. their excitement was saving for me. (I guess that would apply to my own kids..although I would still vacation on the beach and maybe drive to orlando for a one-day trip to mickey mouse world).
-people in crowds lose 50-90 IQ points.
-resorts with a limited number of chairs by a pool should have full-time Chair Watchers who remove items that are "saving" places for non-people. numerous people who wanted to sit/swim/etc could not find chairs because others had run down at 8am to grab 5-6 chairs for their towels and books to rest on all day. this was maddening.

6. I want a "Guam Update". we may have to start a "brother blog" or a "spinoff" that is soley about GUAMlife. questions: how will MGW and VIC leave clyde the clyde for that long? seriously? (can't imagine leaving Swiffer) who are these hooligans renting your house? do we need to spy on them? I think I know someone with spytech. what are you doing with all your stuff? and how does one pack for a 1-2 year "trip"? when will you be back? for real? you need to set up SKYPE. which means you have to make several quantum leaps on the technology spectrum. but you are a gumshoe. I believe you can do it.

7. Also want a "Xavi Work Blog"...this could be grand. every day at exactly the same time of day, you write a 5-minute synopsis of what has happened so far in your day...maybe eventually we'll all understand what it is you actually do.

8. Jeremy is getting tired. Jeremy probably forgot some of the things he wanted to blog about. oh well.

"Some posts don't have much of a finish...that's the post I took..."

Back on the Bus...next stop: Retirement

2008-03-21T18:52:00.006-06:00

So, it is official. I am back on the bus, a contributing member of society (whatever that means). I have an ambiguous job with an unassuming title where I sit at my desk using my computer to make money for silly things. I think my official title is something like "Keyword Advertiser" or something like that. Regardless I sit at my desk all day staring at a computer screen.

Positives:
1. I get to listen to talk radio again. The ONLY plus side to having a 30~45 minute commute is getting to listen to these guys on the way to work:

http://www.insidestl.com/morningafter/

(and finish up listening to them throughout the day) and listen to this guy on the way home:

http://www.971talk.com/Glover/index.aspx

Again, let me stress that this is the ONLY plus to a +30 minute commute. I highly recommend working within walking/biking distance of your work.

2. Health insurance and a pay check. Both of which are very nice, although I believe all insurance companies are oily little snakes, i do appreciate being paid nicely.

3. I like the diverse people. Although I believe only about 3 or 4 people in the office are "on the team", there are 3 or 4 that played for the old team but separated due to the quarterback controversy, and if I am not mistaken we have a few casual players and the rest refuse to acknowledge any sporting event at all.

4. Close proximity to Barristers (http://www.barristers-clayton.com/). Whether it is for a late lunch, or a quick dinner, Barristers is sure to be delicious. Mention me the next time you are there and you will get a free water.

5. I got a laptop. It is cool, the whole technology thing in general is pretty cool. I am for sure on the low end of the spectrum about knowing what is actually going on and how the company makes money, grows, expands, etc... But like I said we have nifty setups at work and my laptop is nice as far as laptops go.

Negatives:
1. Working in "the loop". Honestly what is the big deal about the loop? I don't understand why people like coming down to "THE loop", I dislike being badgered to sign some piece of paper that will inevitably get me telemarketer calls or junk mail. I dislike being asked for $2.00 or money in general. I dislike the edgy kids who want to go to "sunshine, weed-smell" or whatever the name of that store is. Overall I just don't get the popularity and I become more perplexed the more I sample the local eatery's (service and taste have been sub par). I am just not sold on "the loop".

2. Traffic. If a drop of water from a haywire sprinkler is hitting the road then the speed of traffic will drop at least 25mph. Likewise if a car on the side of the road has its hazards on we all need to slow down to 10mph and stare.

3. Working in front of a computer all day. I don't have a carlos computer job or a jeremy pre-soccer coach computer job. When I sit at my computer I am working. It ruins the internet for me, hence the lack of blog posting lately. I have no desire to go home and read other stuff on the internet. I am starting to loathe the internet. It is a sham and a hoax....and the company that will fund any information collecting/end of the world technology certainly rhymes with frugal.

4. I got a laptop. The downside of having a laptop is that you can take your work with you everywhere you go. I am a fan of leaving things where they need to be left. Work needs to be left at work for example. But having a laptop with all your work info doesn't help.

Anyway, there is some meat for you all to chew. I have much more to share but I will leave you with that for now and await comments. Teasers for my next post include: Jeff's visit to the STL ethical society, Trivia night in SoCo, and "champagne for easter, good idea?"

A haiku for Xavi

2008-02-28T17:21:00.004-06:00

winter turns to spring.
happy birthday to horton.
congrats on the job.

10 Big Points

2008-02-14T16:40:00.015-06:00

If you watch American Gladiators you know that the contenders never just get 10 points, it's always "10 BIG Points." So in honor of the finale Sunday night I thought I would do a top 10 list of sorts.

10) STL Boat Show. Jojo and I attended the the St. Louis Boat Show last weekend at the Edward Jones Dome. It was my first time ever going to one of these and it was pretty fun. It was really cool to see and sit in some of the boats. We sat in a Mastercraft X-80 which retails for roughly $120,000 and it was awesome. Other boats that I would love to own are the Mastercraft X Star, Malibu Wakesetter 247 LSV, and the Sea-Doo Wake Edition PWC. Truthfully I would be happy with almost any boat but I can dream right?

9) Winter is no fun. In fact I hate it. As I was sitting in complete gridlock in Earth City on Monday night trying to get home I was questioning why I ever decided to come home from Dubai, no winter storms there. I think we need to move to Arizona.

8) Shakespeare's Pizza in New Town!! This is pretty cool. The Domain Street Wine Bar (which has an obnoxious giant neon sign) and Marsala's Market are both now importing Shakespeare's from Columbia. It's the half-baked pizzas, which aren't quite as good as the real thing but still very good. I have yet to enjoy the pizza in my freezer because when I last preheated the oven I started a fire in it due to previous pizza debris.

7) Easter Candy is here!! Easily the best holiday candy out there, Cadbury Eggs alone catapult it above all other holiday candy.

6) Men's Health Power Training is a book I picked up after Christmas and I started following it's program shortly after. I really like the workouts it recommends and I'm already starting to see the results. However, I haven't been doing alot of lower body lifting the last couple of years (especially when I was running alot) and now I'm developing the muscles in my legs to the point that it is beginning to affect the way my pants are fitting. Which is kinda weird.

5) New Jack Johnson Cd, Sleep Through the Static. I've only listened to it a little bit but I think it is impossible for Jack to put out bad music.

4) Team1380 is local sports radio that I have on pretty much every morning in the truck. If you're in St. Louis check it out. Really funny stuff and they occasionally even talk about sports.

3) Transgression is a really cool wakeboarding dvd I got at the boat show. The music is really good and the riding is awesome. The best part is Randall Harris's section. He actually has a really interesting story and he's on the team now which is cool but his riding is jawdropping. Watching it really makes me want to ride.

2) American Gladiators finale this Sunday night! A 2 hour "event"!! Should be pretty cool but I don't think that Evan or Monica can be beaten. They're simply too good at the Eliminator. Their competition will need a huge lead going into the Eliminator and that's probably not gonna happen.

1) Dunkin Donuts returns to STL!!!!!! This is the best news I've gotten in a while and it can't happen soon enough.

ki' come?

2008-02-12T13:05:00.000-06:00

so I guess my genre for the time being is travel blogs. This past weekend I drove to Lebanon, TN, which is EAST of Nashville about 20+ miles...this trip takes about 3.15 hours traveling at a good rate of 83+ mph and stopping only once for gas/potty break.

the reason why I was in Lebanon is unimportant at the moment (USSF 'D' Coaching License course), as I want to focus on annoying driving habits of my fellow americans. again, these will be random, unoriginal, and somewhat scatter-brained
(which sums up my existence right now as well):

-when renting a car specifically for the purpose of going on a longer trip, specify that you want CRUISE CONTROL...I found out about 20 miles outside of memphis that the car I rented specifically for the purpose of added luxury did NOT in fact have many added luxuries.

-when renting a car specifically for the purpose of going on a longer trip, specify that you want a NON-SMOKING car...this I discovered as soon as I got in to drive...however, I was short on time, they were short on available cars, and I figured my olfactory senses would numb quickly (which they did)...Nurse Racher, that is the proper word right, olfactory?

-ENTERPRISE rental car WILL IN FACT pick you up and drop you off when renting cars from them...they aren't lying in the advertisements.

-People in the south like to speed. well, SOME people in the south like to speed. the others in the south like to go 5 mph UNDER the speed limit. but the SPEEDERS are serious speeders. I'm talking 95+ on the highways. people speed everywhere I know, but down here I think NASCAR is in the genes/blood or something because people drive fast fast. this phenomenon has also been observed by other readers/writers of this blog while traversing the atlanta speedway being passed by 85 year old grandmas...I'm just saying. I am not alone here...

-improper merging tactics seem to be rampant everywhere...not just the north. what is so difficult about getting up to the ACTUAL speed limit while one merges? why do we merge at 10-15 BELOW the speed limit?

-truck stop restaurants/gas stations down here are little mini-walmarts. you can get ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! seriously. and the food smells and looks legit. like good home-cooking.

-even without cruise control, it really isn't THAT difficult to keep a consistent speed. come on people! one of my pet peeves is inconsistent speed drivers. seriously. I just passed you like 45 seconds ago when you were going 64 mph. now you're doing 85 flying by me...oh wait...here I am passing you again. I haven't touch my speed, but you are going MUCH slower again..why? I don't get it.

-alone in the fast lane drivers??? = get over. the LEFT lane is for passing and for people ACTUALLY going OVER the speed limit.

-talk radio = good for road trips. time flies when listening to people ramble.

-cell phones = also good for time flying, but sometimes inconvenient to talk on...

alright...that is enough for now. the tragic part is that I have to go back again this upcoming weekend. anybody want to join me?

Hablo Espanol...

2008-01-29T08:58:00.000-06:00

Today I am Senor I. I have three hours of Spanish 1, two hours of Spanish 5, and one hour of Spanish 4.

I feel like the lady in Resident Evil: Apocalypse who has to go to Las Vegas for supplies even though she knows she could get bitten and become infected. I too have walked into an infected place in order to get supplies (money). The sickness is all around. I can see it in their eyes, hear it in their cough. It is happening. Unfortunately I do not have an OJ I.V. that I could put into my arm and get liquids through.

And teenagers are much like zombies. When they all put their iPod's, Zunes, and othe mp3 devices in they are taken over. Don't trust Steve Jobs, he is a zombie maker. He makes things look all nice on the outside but they slowly destroy your insides till you become a zombie that only downloads songs from the day's top 100, so you end up with an abundance of crappy rap songs on your iPod.

Remember the oldendays of the music store? I remember Blockbuster music I think it was called. It was a pretty sweet store. Lots of CDs and you could listen to whatever you wanted. You bought the music and you owned something, other than a vague file on your computer. Even cassettes I can recall, the ancient relics that they are. I wonder if that will every be a selling point on a car "This car has a tape deck!" All of this music talk was brought about because of the rewatching of an old classic known as "Empire Records". I did an IMDB search of the movie and noticed that I share my birthday with the actor who plays Lucas, who creates the whole plot for the movie. But that has nothing to do with the music.

Back to high school students for a moment. I have thoughts and questions. Who decided that this is the best way to educate people? I would like to sit down with them and show them what they are doing to humanity. I have Spanish 5 students in right now. Spanish 5! This is like top of the top in the school. These are kids that will fit the mold and go to good colleges and try to live the american dream. No wonder America is in trouble, we let one kid (usually immigrants) do the work and the rest of us get rich off of it.

Aye caramba y cajones aqui escuela de leche.

The bus dropped me off in Kansas and I don't see another one coming

2008-01-22T11:00:00.000-06:00

Well, I had meant to do this sooner but a blog is like a stew, it is best after it has simmered gathering comments, until it is finished. It can't sit too long or else it will rot and no one likes rotten soup. So I had to give Jeremy's post time to simmer and gather comments. I was waiting on a certain person's comment/post but it came very late and so perhaps i am taking Jeremy's post out of the oven but I need to put mine in.
(to read Matt's comment see the previous post, comment 6)

Anyway, first off a friend of mine did some funny work with a picture of mine when I had my mustache and I found it quite funny hopefully you do as well.

But anyway, as the title says I am off the bus. The bad thing is I want back on the bus, but the damn bus doesn't pick up people that it feels would be odd passengers. To those bus drivers I perhaps look like a scary hitchhiker. But I am not. I have talents, I can do productive things. I would be helpful on the bus.

Oh well...perhaps someday a bus will pick me up. Anyway, I saw Cloverfield on a sibling date with Jon and Rach. It is an ok movie. I would see it in the theater before I would rent it, but beware if you get motion sickness.

Also, I was introduced to Skype recently. I had heard of it before, but never checked it out. It is fun and is sweeping the I family by storm. Now my question is can you "prank skype" someone? I am sure it is not near as fun as salsa in the road, but it may be just a slight step below that.

Also I think we should start having blog contests. Like the first person to post a picture of themselves with A.J. Jacobs gets 5 dollars and stuff like that. I would say to have a "famous" person leave a comment, but I don't know how that could be enforced.

Anyway, I am off to look for a bus.

Another Airport Rant

2008-01-14T16:34:00.001-06:00

I've ranted on airports on this blog before (I would link to it if I had the technological savvy of the great white or his sidekick). but I can't resist doing it again. I flew to Atlanta this weekend. I had a layover in Charlotte. kind of dumb but that was best we could do on short notice.

anyway, these are my observations of the good, the bad, the annoying, etc:

-WHY DO PEOPLE INSIST ON STOPPING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TERMINAL? these are the reasons that they do this:

1.) to check the ETA/departure board. this is a reasonable reason to stop. however, please move to the very side of the walkway so as to cause the least amount of backup.

2.) to check the directions of the gates (increase or decrease) and/or baggage claim direction...once again, I appreciate that people want to head in the proper direction, but stopping DIRECTLY IN THE MIDDLE of a very busy section of foot traffic is not ok. imagine if we did this in cars: we are heading down the road when we realize that we may be heading in the wrong direction. so we slam on the brakes and sit there a minute while we figure it all out. this would be disasterous.

3.) to watch playoff NFL football on television screens...this is noble and grand as brings people happiness and comraderie during an unusually lonely and sucky time (traveling), but still, we can think of others and get to a spot which causes the least amount of jam for those people wishing to get by to wherever it is they are going.

4.) for no apparent reason at all. people forget that the world does not revolve around them and act they are in their family room, bed room, kitchen, wherever...you are in an AIRPORT...get where you are going or get out of the way.

-The other RIDICULOUS phenomenon (which I've mentioned on this blog) is people sitting in my seat on planes. IT IS NOT THAT DIFFICULT TO GET TO THE CORRECT SEAT! I got to experience this on my first flight. all the seats in my row were taken. I informed the women sitting in my seat that it was my seat. She told me that someone was sitting in hers (???? how does this mean that she should sit in mine?!!?!??)...after a minute of the others in the row checking/etc, a man on his cell phone with his computer on his lap pipes up that he is in the wrong seat. he makes no effort to move and continues to work. the stewardess (who is pissed off for another reason) makes no effort to help except for telling me to sit in the open seat. This makes me angry because that is a window seat. not an aisle (which I was supposed to have). stuffing my frustration I sit down next to a nice women who compliments me on taking it nicely and not making a scene. that made me laugh. people are dumb. what can you do? except sit in the proper seat.

-lastly, I will end on a positive note: I like when people pick up on cues. like I don't want to talk. leave me alone. I want to sleep. or yes, I will talk for a bit. but now I don't want to. I had good travel partners.

Dumpy McDumperson

2008-01-07T22:15:00.000-06:00

Ok so I guess it's my turn to dump. First and foremost, I want to say how happy I am with the return of one of the greatest TV shows of our time - American Gladiators. There are some flaws, way too much talking for one, but overall it is a great addition to Monday night, which is the only night we really watch TV.

Things I like about AG:

*All of the events over water. Even "Hang Tough" is better now. Also I like how you have to swim under the fire in the Eliminator.

*The new Ninja Warrior-like Eliminator is much better. I love how it pretty much wipes out the contenders and they can barely make it up the "travelator" or whatever they call the treadmill thing.

*The whole thumbs down taunting of the contenders when the Gladiator beats them and they fall into the water. Jojo and I have already got it down.

Things I don't like about AG:

*Wolf. Lame. Looks like Ben Stiller from Dodgeball on roids.

*All of the trash talking and human interest crap. Just play the games, we don't need all of the contrived drama. It actually makes me like the contenders less and root against them. I was pretty psyched when stupid 34 year old Jeff who waited 14 years to be on AG lost to the Spider Monkey. I read that one of the contenders breaks their femur, I was hoping it would be Jeff. One side note on the Spider Monkey, don't bet against him in the Eliminator. If you've seen Ninja Warrior you know the smaller, spry gymnastic guys destroy obstacle courses.

I had other things I was going to write about but I can't remember them now. Ohio State is getting killed by LSU as I write this. And all of the local weather people are going nuts because of the storms that are all over tonight. Good times, I guess it's an improvement over all of the reports on a closed highway. "We're bringing you team coverage to let you know that yes, Highway 40 is indeed closed down." Be sure to use alternate routes.

Oh yeah, here's a couple things I'm reading right now:

Jar's Blog Dump List

2007-12-15T17:06:00.000-06:00

This is my attempt at taking a dump. Johanna is fonding of dumping and I believe Jon has tried it...so I thought I would get in on the fun and dump away.

Mostly I just wanted to write "dump" alot.

Also, in honor of Jo's posting of a fantistic video about lists (see link at right side of page), I will also call this my dumptastic attempt at a blog-dump-list...or something:

1.) "Yes, I would like the entire store."

Shan and I went shopping today. It was Saturday. Cold. Raining. Apparently EVERY other person in Memphis had the same idea. The roads were terrible. Memphis drivers are horrendous as is and rain exponentially increases the badness. We were lucky to arrive home without any new dents in Homer. My favorite part of the excursion was entering a store with signs that read, "Entire Store 40% Off"...which got me thinking that I should tell the workers that I would indeed like to purchase the whole store. I was debating whether I should ask them how much it cost first or just fire away with my intentions to buy the store.

2.) One line means negative. Two lines mean positive.

Sorry my FACE is so big in this picture...but the word on the cup needs to be read. For those who haven't heard, that word will soon be a proper adjective to describe ME. pretty crazy. and fun. and exciting. and overwhelming. Shannon is due at the beginning of July. We are thrilled...call me if you want more details.

3.) I don't really have a third point, but I think lists necessitate a minimum of three things/points/numbers/kumquats/or whatevers...

4.) Questions:

-Will there be a snowbowl over the holidays? (i.e. do I need to pack "gear"?)
-What do J-squared still need off their christmas lists? (i.e. items that are affordable AND don't have to be ordered from timbucktu)
-Where are the missing Asterix/Obelix books?
-What is the "Gospel"?
-What is a Kumquat?

If you watch one episode this season, make it this one...

2007-12-03T21:35:00.000-06:00

Due to popular demand I am writing a Heroes running diary. If you have no idea what went on, who was who, then this will confuse you even more. Also I became aware of racism running rampant in the Heroes franchise, totally unacceptable. So anyway, Here we go.

Heroes Running Diary

Watched the last 30 minutes of Chuck, it was entertaining but still the first season so that means it just sucks you in, then next season it just sucks. I don’t buy the whole secret agents working at Costco and it seems as if they are going to have to kill chuck soon, but oh well on to the good stuff Heroes.

8:01- Sylar is with Mohinder that is always a fun. Sylar is a great villain. You always need a great villain that is crazy and totally egocentric. Sylar fits that bill. I would compare him to the Mountain that Rides in the GRRM novels although he isn't as strong yet. But crazy, totally unpredictable, and all about himself...check, check, and check.

8:03- Sylar is so great. I love him. I hope that Mya dies soon, I don’t like her. At least one half of the crying twins is dead, hopefully the other follows soon.

8:05- I think Sylar and Adam need to have an epic villain showdown, it would be intense. I think it will happen at the end of season 2 with Sylar being victorious.

8:06- I like Angela Petrelli, I wonder what her power is. I think she is a vampire. And the whole one bullet to the head to kill Peter or Adam is just dumb; it is just like a real person, not very heroic.

8:08- I don’t like Storm Peter as much as I like psychic Peter (from now on they are SP and PP.) Peter is pretty dumb, why does he trust him, i guess when you blow up it messes with your mind. Jimmy commented that now Adam is walking around the warehouse with a sword, just a regular day at the paper warehouse. I mean really, they just walk in, leave a guy lying on the floor and one guy carrying a sword. No one has a problem with this!?!?

8:13- Claire isn’t very intimidating, even when she is punching out windows. She can take down the company, just punch out some more windows! And the whole going to a lab to be experimented on, doesn’t she experiment on herself enough, I mean would being in a lab be worse? I mean she cut off her toe with scissors in the living room. I just don't get it.

8:14- I like it that Ned Ryerson “benched” his daughter. Anytime my child does something wrong I am going to “bench” them. That just sounds funny. “Sparky you’re benched from the dinner table. I have to take you out, you just can't take another inning.”

8:16- I like Noah, by far the best character in the series. Noah is awesome; he should start his own company and then corporate scandal could rock the other company and it would be all kinds of business problems, hostile takeovers and such.

8:18- I hope Nikki dies. I really don’t like her or Micah, although his power is pretty cool. I would like to “talk” to technology. I wonder what my scale would say?

8:19- Peter the Slave isn’t as cool as SP, or PP. Also the logic of all these characters is flawed they just don’t think things through except the villains. PP needs to throw the door at Adam’s head and take it off, it isn’t a single bullet so it probably wouldn’t kill him. Throwing a door with your mind is way more heroic than a bullet though.

8:23- Sylar is the second best character besides Noah. So crazy…I love it!
Text Msg from Rachel- Drawing blood is not that easy.
FYI Heroes you need to keep it realistic!!! You know the flying guys, time stoppers and everything else, at least keep the blood drawing real!

8:25- Second sighting of the “Ho-bag” that is Elle, Bob’s daughter. She is very slutty normally, apparently getting shot takes away the whole slutty vibe. And how does she miss Sylar?!!? She hit West 50 feet in the air and she can't hit Sylar no more than 15 feet away from her?!?!

8:26- Back to the boring people in New Orleans. I think one of them dies, so that would somewhat acceptable. They could discontinue this whole story and no one would really care. I mean just not show anymore of it. Viewers wouldn't mind at all.

8:27- Back to TX, excellent it could get exciting soon. The Paper company apparently is very busy. with all the wireless and e-mail you think it would be a little slower.

8:29- I think West works for the Company too. He is annoying on top of it. Maybe he will die to. I think Mr. Muggles needs super powers they need to appeal to the pet people.

8:30- “Hello Clare Bear” That was pretty cool, although the all in black HRG was a little spooky. I would probably drop my box too.

8:31- Molly is kinda creepy, don’t make her cry Molly…NO!!!
...
...
NICE!!! I LOVE SYLAR!!!

8:32- I hope the wonder twins stay dead. Sylar is moving up the fave character list.
I agree with Rachel why did we have to suffer through those two for most of the episodes if Sylar was just going to kill them? The whole crying all across central america plotline sucked.

8:34- Heroes has a very racist theme going on at the present. So far in the series we have 1 dead black guy, 2 dead Hispanics, 1 dead Japanese, 1 Indian (from India) 1 Irishman, and 1 white guy. So that is 5-2 in favor of the minorities. Most of the violence is race on race...lots of minor white characters were killed by Sylar and I didn't count them. But of the major ones, we had lots of minorities killed.

8:36- Wouldn’t you be happy if your dad was back from the dead?!? I mean really “Hey I am back from the dead.” “We are just supposed to pretend you weren’t dead! JERK!”
And how did he get his glasses back, does he have multiple pairs? Weren’t they destroyed when he was shot? I guess the company had more pairs on standby.

8:38-PP needs to go after Adam apparently, everyone is saying so.
OH....Brother showdown, listen to your brother.
I wonder whose brain is in that jar?

8:40- Ooohhhh a Noah reference between Adam and Hiro. The real one from the Bible not HRG. I wonder if this episode will end with a rainbow? I doubt it, probably with a cockroach.

8:41- Apparently saying “I love you to your brother.” makes him trust you a lot. Jon, Jeremy “I love you, you need to trust me, now give me lots of money or the world will be destroyed.” Also, I don’t think Peter will catch the virus, it is going to break on the floor and a cockroach will get it and spread it and the cockroaches will rule the new world. The series will be over becasue of the writers strike. If that happened I might be strangely satisfied.

8:45- Oh…PP great timing. You are so good. Way to go. Destroy it Peter. Wow Nuclear Peter (NP) had the symbol on his hand. NP is pretty cool too. Heroes new theme “Are you in the vault?” I hope we get to see all the drawers and such, some of that stuff looked pretty interesting.

8:47- The whole we are going to go public is kinda dumb adn I hate Mohinder now.

Ho-bag to the rescue. Her first power is being super slutty her extra power is the electricity.

8:49- Just kill Nikki already…this New Orleans story is crappy.

Apparently you don’t have to have powers to beat the crap out of a thug (who is black)...see more racism from Heroes.

8:50- Goodbye Nikki….On to the big screen for you. Movies and more money await you. She needs to go back to Texas and be a cheerleading coach. Find Johnny Moxon and settle down start a family play West Texas Football. "I don't want your life."

8:52- If Nikki isn’t dead I will be very upset, but I am pretty sure she is done. I heard we got 3 deaths tonight, if she is 1 I wonder who the next 2 are.

8:54 - That was pretty crazy. I can't believe Hiro had it in him to bury Adam. Hiro is very smart and that was just insane. I thought that was really well done. Kudos to you Tim Kring. Most of this volume the Villains are not dead but trapped/imprisoned. Nice touch.

8:55- “Cool.” Not very Elle, I beg to differ Mya is still alive.

8:56- I like the brothers back together but the whole “going public” is really dumb. This montage is also pretty lame If they end with this speech I will be very upset.

8:58- NO WAY!!! That is number 2. Totally didn’t see that coming. Tim Kring went GRRM on us. And for the record it is Noah (HRG) that killed him. That is my pick for the assassin that they will use 5 episodes to let us know about. Great ending....or is it?

9:00- YES, he is!!

Almost

2007-12-01T18:49:00.000-06:00

So I'm stealing an idea from the Sports Guy and doing a running diary for tonight's Big 12 Championship game. In alot of ways being a Mizzou fan is just like being a Red Sox fan : your team was always doomed to not just lose, but lose in a horrible gut wrenching way. But we all know how that worked out for Boston. It's been that way this year for Mizzou, they've confronted a different ghost every week, and every week they've overcome it. I'm definetely one of the most cynical Mizzou fans out there and now they finally have me believing. Old Mizzou found ways to lose games, New Mizzou finds ways to win and most importantly they believe that they belong in these games .The fact that Mizzou is ranked #1 in the country, in football, is simply mind-blowing. Watching the post game show last weekend with my friends in Columbia we were all shell-shocked. Seeing Chase Daniel sit there talking with Corso, Fowler and Herbstreet was surreal. I don't think we could process what was going on. Tonight is an even bigger game, I don't need to remind anyone what is at stake.
So with all that being said, here we go. The biggest game in Mizzou history.

7:10 - I like the all black unis, the only thing better would be all gold. We need to make this happen.

7:12 - What is this song?? Perry Farrell, Fiddy, and some girl I don't know? That was horrible

7:16 - No Chase Coffman, not good news. But it is one less Chase for everyone to keep track of.

7:19 - What...was...THAT!!!! You don't throw it backward!! Ugh. That was awful. 3rd and 21. Great.

7:20 - 3 and out. Awesome series. Fills me with confidence.

7:21 - Jojo said she wants to see an OU player have to pull grass out of his helmet, I told her she's going to be disappointed. Which Iglesias plays for OU? Does Enrique have a younger brother? A Joff Iglesias?

7:23 - Great tackle by Willy Mo'.

7:25 - 3rd and 23 for OU, man it's loud in that dome.

7:30 - Jojo wants to know what BCS stands for and how it works, ummm, do you want the short version? She says she's sorry.

7:32 - I don't like all these screens and short passes. I know it's what we do but it's making me nervous. That was a huge hit on Maclin.

7:35 - 1st Brian Bosworth reference of the night by Brent. Chase just got lit up trying to run the option.

7:37 - Just got Oregon highlights, best...uniforms....ever. We need those. Anyone who needs an idea for a Christmas present for me, Oregon football jersey. The yellow and green one they're wearing today.

7:41 - Jeremy Maclin kick returns always get me on the edge of my seat. Hate to see the clip though. I think he's gonna bring one all the way back tonight.

7:46 - More with the screens. We've had some good plays in this drive though. Settle down Bob Stoops, that guy was all over Rucker. You too Kirk. Huge pitch and catch to Rucker.

7:49 - Tony Temple takes it down inside of the 10. We're starting to look good here. Until that play.

7:51 - 5 wide in the red zone. Unbelieve. But that's our offense. Chase overthrows Rucker in the endzone. Former MU Diver Jeff Wofford kicks a field goal. 3-0 Mizzou.

7:53 - Herbstreet and Spielman talk about how much they love THE Ohio State University. Well not really, they pretend that they care about this game and that they're objective. Spielman did just make a good point about not kicking to Maclin. Why would you do that? It's like kicking to Devin Hester, if you keep doing it, he's going to burn you.

7:57 - Huge catch by Kelly for OU, ball inside MU 10. Mizzou had 10 in the box and got beat over the top. We need to hold them here. Our defense was huge in the red zone against KU.

8:00 - End of 1st Quarter, still 3-0. OU threatening though. That horrible "I Just Wanna Celebrate" song takes us out again. If there was any doubt that 50 Cent has sold out it's gone.

8:03 - Touchdown Chris Brown, not the singer, no one touched him. 7-3 OU.

8:06 - Saunders gets blown up on another short pass. I think they know about that play.

8:08 - Big 3rd down completion to Saunders. 21 yard gain.

8:09 - End around by Maclin for 1st down. Even when you see it coming it's hard to stop. He's fast.

8:12 - Huge QB sneak by Daniel. Ball on OU 15. We need a touchdown here.

8:13 - 2 running plays and we lose 3 yards. 3rd and 9. Big play comin up.

8:14 - Gigantic interference call against OU. 1st and goal. Chase runs it to 1 or maybe it was a touchdown.

8:16 - 3rd and goal from the 1. 5 wide, Chase gets stuffed going for the sneak AGAIN. I think they saw that coming buddy.

8:17 - The diver kicks another field goal. 7-6 OU.

8:20 - Spielman confirms that Daniel wasn't in the end zone. And reiterates that he is completely objective and doesn't care that if OU wins Ohio St goes to the BCS title game.

8:24 - Willy Mo' blows up Gresham on 3rd down. Huge hit.

8:28 - Chase throws it away again. Sigh.

8:29 - Fake end around to Maclin and then attempted screen to Maclin. OU is all over us.

8:33 - "Don't give up, don't even give up."

8:34 - Jojo is losing heart already. Aawwhhh, just like a real Mizzou fan.

8:36 - OU converts big 3rd down. Ball inside the MU 10.

8:37 - Alexander stuffs Chris Brown, not the singer. OU runs it down to 3. 3rd and goal, huge play. Chris Brown, not the singer, scores another touchdown. 14-6 OU.

8:38 - Jojo thinks it's over, I tell her it's still just a one possession game. She says "nobody ever goes for two."

8:43 - Maclin runs right into the OU kick coverage. This isn't going well.

8:45 - Why do Brent and Kirk have to stand up while they're calling the game?? I've always wondered about this. Can't you sit down and call the game?

8:48 - Completion to Rucker and big facemask penalty on OU. Brent says the OU players were giving Rucker "the business." 1st down on OU 25.

8:49 - Another strange option call and Daniel goes nowhere.

8:50 - Spielman continues to offer insight from the sideline but we know all he's thinking about is that Mizzou and West Virginia (wearing all yellow unis btw) are both losing. Ohio St still has life!!

8:52 - TOUCHDOWN Daniel!!!! Double reverse pass for 2 point conversion!!!! Jojo is eating her words. 14-14!! I don't know how much of this I can take and we've got a long way to go. Jojo is reciting her prayer "I believe Lord, help my unbelief."

Halftime: 14-14. Wow. 30 minutes to go. This is huge. I don't really know what to make of the first half but we didn't fold when it was going against us. And that last drive was big time.

Johanna's Half-time Show:

What’s the deal with the Golden Girls? Jon says they don’t have to be blond but I haven’t seen any brunettes or redheads. The way they stand makes me think they could do one of those Pepto-Bismol commercials. I have to admit, I’m not in a good place mentally. I think spending the day working at a retail store in the middle of the holiday season contributed to my broken spirit. I'm going to try to pull it together in the 2nd half.

Do you think the Dr. Pepper guys practiced at home? How did they do this? He’s going for a million – good for him. I love it when people just go for it. Like on Deal Or No Deal. When the suburban housewife slams down the plastic box and yells at Howie, “No deal!,” well, it almost brings tears to my eyes. Sorry, sucka, just 75000 for you tonight. Just.

Jon is doing his warm-up breathing exercises. M-I-Z-...

Z - O - U!!!! and we're back....

9:23 - OU forced to punt. Good start. Holding on us. Great.

9:25 - 1st down to Saunders. Great pass. We just tried the double reverse again, didn't really work.

9:27- 1st down Maclin. OU is all over him but he's still making plays.

9:28 - Blitz but Daniel gets rid of it to Maclin. "Hot Route!! Hot Route!"

9:30 - Maclin end around for big gain. Daniel just got sacked though. 2nd and 20, and we just got an illegal sustitutish called on us. 2nd and 25, fantastic.

9:32 - Chase does some jawing with the OU D after they force us to punt. Gotta like that. Very Favre like.

9:34 - Jojo is making up signals on the couch. Her signals for a sack and "I just made a dumb play" are my favorites. She also likes the word encroachment.

9:38 - Big 3rd down completion for OU and then tack on a late hit by us. Awesome. Patrick has a huge run down to the 5. It would be nice if we could tackle.

9:41 - 3rd and goal for OU. We NEED a stop here. Touchdown OU. Why can't we tackle on 3rd down?? 21-14 OU.

9:45 - Herbstreet can't keep the excitement out of his voice when talking about MU and West Virginia losing. What?! Ohio St could go to the BCS Championship game?? You don't say.

9:46 - Deflection and interception for OU. They've got the ball in the red zone again. Oh wait, Touchdown OU. 28-14. SIGH.

9:52 - Toby Keith and...a Jim Ross sighting!! Good god that's Brad Smith's music!! Man I wish, we could sure use the Brad Smith play.

9:55 - Ok, we get it, Missouri and West Virginia are in trouble. But we're driving. Rucker takes it down to the 5. We need 6 here.

9:56 - OU was all over the draw. And the screen. Come on guys do something different.

9:58 - End of the 3rd quarter. I cannot stress how important it is that we get a touchdown here.

10:01 - West Virginia loses, Herbstreet, Spielman and Co. can relax now. Ohio St will play for the championship.

10:02 - Another field goal for the diver, 28-17 OU. The divers never scored this much for our team. I remember losing meets because of them.

10:06 - I almost can't write anymore. Jojo says she's crying on the inside. She just asked why I dragged her into this.

10:11 - 1st and goal OU. The tight end just dropped a touchdown.

10:16 - Touchdown OU. 35-17 OU. "Hello Fiesta Bowl!!" Brent just said (for OU). For Mizzou it's "oh yeah, hey cotton bowl....yeah ok." It's better than Shreveport and the Independence Bowl though.

10:20 - BCS is in chaos now. Ohio St is in for sure but who will they play?? Georgia? LSU? USC? I think Hawaii deserves a shot. They're undefeated. Why not??

10:34 - This is done. Oh well, I really can't be too upset about this. I mean we finished 10-2 and we'll go to a great bowl. And quite a few of these guys will be back next year: Daniel, Maclin, Coffman, all back. A couple of our really good lineman graduate but I think we're in good shape next year and....wait a second, is that guys name really Joe Jon Finley??? And he goes by this? not JJ?

10:46 - Officially over. 38-17 OU. That's the way it goes. And honestly I'd rather lose this way than to a kicked ball play or a Tyus Edney drive with 4 seconds left.

Joff, I expect a running diary of the Heroes Finale.

estoy fuera del "bus"

2007-11-19T21:15:00.000-06:00

So about a week ago most of the members of this blog journeyed to Costa Rica for Neal's wedding. It was my third trip to Costa Rica and while we weren't in as many life-threatening situations as in previous trips it was still action-packed.

Highlights included: day at the beach (until I got a brutal headache), riding horses at the Mapache ranch, the boat trip around the bay, the tremendous people watching at the always entertaining Lizard Lounge, Papagayo Seafood (get the calimari and then grandma's shrimp and corn bisque), suprise guests Ross and Trish, the crazy drum/dance troupe at the reception, the canopy tour with Roberto, and most of all it was just really cool to hang out with all of my friends in Costa Rica.

Lowlights: the 4 hour drive from San Jose to Coco is not super fun after the 2 flights to get to San Jose. Especially when it rains the whole way. Best decision of the trip was us switching our return flight to the Liberia airport. Much closer to Coco than San Jose (20 minuters as opposed to 4 hours).

As for the wedding itself, it was super fun. The ceremony was in Spanish so I knew what was going on but I really didn't know what the priest was saying most of the time. The funniest thing about the wedding was that the invitation said that it started @ 3pm, but apparently this actually means after 4 because Ticos are always late. Ed, Matt and I actually had a pool going for when we thought the ceremony would start.

^This is me, Matt and Neal about to paddle out at Playa Grande. The waves were fun but Matt and I spent alot of time paddling and falling off of our boards.

^This is the "little house" (Johanna's words) that we stayed in.

^Matt and Ed building their "aquarium" in the sand. We tried to herd fish into it, our efforts were largely unsuccessful.

^Matt, me, Ed, Neal and Angie

^Sunset in Coco

^Neal and Angie

^Me and Johanna

^Matt and Ed

^Mapache eating poop

Decision 2007: You Vote, She Decides

2007-11-09T10:08:00.000-06:00

So, in case you missed it Carlos and Leigh got new couches. However they are sectionals and can be set up in a variety of fun and interesting ways. Some set-ups are fashion, others are function and others are built for straight up comfort. So, please feel free the cast your vote on which you like the best.

The Classic

This is the classic I look. You have the three seater on the wall facing the TV and the loveseat on the other wall with the ottoman in the middle. Notice that the "no armrests" on the large piece. It could be a downfall to the model. I don't know what else can be said about this since this model has existed since the wall came down.

The Classic 2.0

The Classic 2.0 gives us armress on the large piece while making a safron lounge on the other wall (yes, i know it is not called a safron lounge, but that is what I was calling it all night and I liked it). The safron lounge would have pillows against the wall and allow for reclining to watch the television. This model required two pictures to capture the effect of the safron lounge.

The Carlos Special

The Carlos Special is a chase lounge on the far wall alllowing him to recline or sit up while watching FSC. It has an additional loveseat on the TV watching wall and a small chair that you see my feet coming from. The reason for the name of this model is because it s built around one person being able to watch soccer, other than that it sucks.

The Neo-ClassicThis is basically the classic flipped. We put the loveseat with ottoman on the TV wall and we put the monster couch on the far wall. It should be noted that the neo-classic really opens up the room and is a great model for entertaining.

The Reconciler
This little beauty was my idea. It is a room opener and can be used with a variety of different models. The reconciler is more of an option, and to employ it the parents would most likely need to purchase an extra section or two. However, it works at making the room into one room instead of two. Which brings us to the last model....

The Monster
Two guesses at whose brainchild this was. The Monster is pure comfort. It takes up lots of space and if you have personal space issues more than 3 people on it will make you nervous. It would be interesting if you could buy a few more pieces and make it an even bigger monster. Since some members of the family wouldn't go for Love Sacks I doubt they would go for this.

Update

The current set up at the House of I, is a combination. It has the two piece (with armrests) loveseat against the TV wall with ottoman, The safron lounge exactly as seen in the classic 2.0 and one piece of the reconciler (where the wine cabinet used to be.

Off the bus...for now, and to clarify

2007-11-02T09:45:00.000-06:00

OK to clarify on the pedo-stache here is a pic. I agree if I saw myself in a white windowless van I would probably run too. But that was a good year ago, and I have not had the cajones to grow another one....until now.

So...that is the 2007 model. I have a wedding to go to tomorrow, so I don't know how long it will stay, but it will absolutely be going out to dinner with us tonight, and it will play football in the morning. I would love to have it on Sunday morning....but I don't know how to justify it at a wedding, especially a nice one where moscacholli will not be served. Anyway, I will update you on the status soon. Stay off the bus.

I'm "off the bus"...

2007-10-30T14:40:00.000-06:00

my fall season is over. sort of. both the men and women have zero more games. This is good. I can now breathe. sort of. I still have to figure out off season schedules, procedures, scheduling for '08, eligibility/grades for existing players, RECRUIT, etc...but at least I don't have the demands of being in season. I will have a post or two of reflection regarding the season (exactly 1 win between both programs)...but that will have to wait. for now, I'm trying to relax a little bit.

my brother typed a comment that he "got bus" this past week. He forgot to type the "y". I found this funny and am moving to implement this saying as part of my vernacular. I'm "on the bus" or "off the bus" indicates the level of busyness in one's life.

try it. you will like it.

oh...one more thing. In honor of getting "off the bus" I made a small change...

No Deal!

2007-09-25T13:27:00.000-06:00

Well...in case you missed it, the season 2 premeire of Heroes was shown last night at 8:00pm on NBC. It was entitled "4 months later" and was confusing for the new watcher who knew nothing of the Heroes universe. I however found it to be excellent and am excited for the upcoming season. If anyone would like to borrow season 1 it is available for rent from the Joff library. It is in this critic's review the best show on television. My vote for the new slogan would be "Save the soccer player...save the world." Somehow they could incorporate the global game into a show that they desire to be global, but I doubt they would be that smart.

But NBC is onto a few good things, one of which is possibly my number 2 show in "Friday Night Lights". It is a good watch, not on par with Heroes, but watchable and you don't have to be smart to watch it like you do to watch Heroes. "Friday Night Lights" season 1 is also available to rent from the Jeff library, but only disc 1 at present, until i get further along in the season.

The third good thing from NBC is Deal or No Deal. It is the perfect filler show, it requires no skill, and no knowledge (other than knowing the numbers 1-26). If you go on the NBC casting website you can see the exact specifications for the show. I think if you mention that you are a hillbilly from arkansas you will immediately be accepted. I think I could get accepted because I am married living with my parents, I may have to look into it, although I would rather get onto "Are you Smarter than a 5th grader?" however that show isn't on NBC and therefore has no relevance to this blog.

Lastly, while perusing the NBC casting website I came across this interesting gem. http://www.nbc.com/Casting/#gladiators. I can't believe it!! American Gladiators is coming back!!! This could jump up to my number 2 show if it lives up to the hype. I think Jon needs to take steroids and go try out for the show as "Glazer" the ultra mean donut maker, that way he could also get sponsorship from one of his favorite companies, "Dunkin Donuts". The whole concept works if you think about it.

I hope Mike Tirico and the other former football player are hosts of the show otherwise it will just be disappointing. Also if you watch replays of the later seasons on ESPN classic, the lady with the huge eyebrows, i hope she comes back too. But if Jon does become Glazer we should all go try out and then it would set up good storylines and add a good human interest story. But also they could use the American gladiators on Deal or no Deal, it would be great crossover.

Before I finish, I would like to note that some fathers have been combating the idea that they have fainted in the past. We report truth on the Scan2000 blog, never fair and never balanced. But always true.

The Wheel of Time stops turning

2007-09-20T22:10:00.000-06:00

I don't know if you are all aware but last sunday Robert Jordan passed away. While I have become highly critical of his most recent books, I still think the first 5/6 books in the series are really good and it's still very sad to think that he will never be able to finish the story. But I'm sure some author will finish the series. Apparently, Jordan had completed the outline for his last book and had some of it written. I just hope that Terry Goodkind isn't the one to write it. And there's no way that George Martin would be the one to write it, but that would be fantastic. Anyway, it's going to be a while until "Memory of Light" comes out.

In other sad news, it seems that we will not be playing flag football this year. Trying to get a team together that consistently shows up every week just got to be too much. The 3 or 4 of us that still want to play could possibly end up playing on one of the other teams in the league that needs players but we'll see how that goes. I'm a free agent, we'll see if anyone picks up my contract.

On a happier note, we finally got our couch. Here's a picture of me on it, it needs to be broken in but it's nice.

To finish, I'll throw in some recommendations like Johanna always does. I finally decided to read "Into the Wild" since the movie is coming out soon and we have like 200 copies of the book at work, but it's really good. You should read it if you haven't already. Also, the new Kanye West cd is getting alot of play on my Ipod. He's pretty much an ass but he makes good music. "Stronger" is a great song for the gym.

Silly Americans and fainting fathers

2007-09-03T19:09:00.000-06:00

So, it has been a long while since my attention was turned to this poor neglected blog. Anyway, I have a few musings I would like to share. I hope you all are enjoying an excellent day that we use as an excuse to overeat.

Anyway, this past weekend was the Saint Louis county fair and airshow. Now, I know planes are spectacular and seeing them go in loops and in formation is really cool, but is it necessary to stop on the side of the highway, break out the lawn chairs and crack open a beer. Welcome to Saint Louis. You could drive down Hwy 40 in Chesterfield and see a line of people to cheap or impatient to go to the actual fairgrounds, so instead they parked wherever they could.

It was highly entertaining and got me thinking that some refugee from ____________ (pick your favorite war torn nation) was probably thinking these Americans were crazy. When they are in their home country and they look up in the sky and see the Blue Angels they think "Oh, Shit!" and run for cover.

As much excitement as that was for my wife and I this weekend it did not compare to the excitement which would occur on Sunday afternoon. My dear sister was coming home for the day and had just arrived. My father got up from the couch to greet her. Since he had probably had a diet of olives and wine that day (it was the Sabbath) and had been sitting on the couch for quite some time watching soccer, he got up very quickly. As he went to give my sister a hug, he walked toward her and all of a sudden he began to fall backwards. I was getting out of the shower at the time and all I heard was a loud thump followed by loud voices.

Apparently he had passed out as my sister was walking in the door. Rachel was apparently yelling at him, "Dad! What are you doing? Are you OK?" to which he replied "Yes, I was just sitting down." Whenever someone responds like that after falling to the tile floor the only response is to laugh (after making sure they are ok). Needless to say we have not stopped giving him a hard time about it for the past few days. I am hoping he isn't slain in the spirit while at the Brasil vs. USA game, which I am glad to say I will be attending.

Anyway, I am off to my fantasy football draft....I am a nerd.

Brasil vs. USA in Chicago

2007-08-13T15:06:00.000-06:00

http://msn.foxsports.com/soccer/story/7119318

Who wants to go?

Lots of Things

2007-07-15T21:32:00.000-06:00

Ok, so i've neglected the blog long enough. Lots of stuff has happened since the last time I blogged but I will try to hit all the highlights and post some pics.

First of all, and most importantly I guess, I went to Hawaii and got married. I don't know if I really have the words to adequately describe how great the trip was. Hawaii is a really cool place and I'm glad we did what we did. I definitely did not want to do the whole big wedding thing, and it was awesome to get married on the beach. It was weird because the whole wedding only took like 10 minutes, when we started our vows was when it really hit me that yeah, this is actually happening. But it was exactly the way Johanna and I wanted it to be and the whole trip was better than I could have imagined.

^Waialae Beach Park was a really pretty beach. We didn't really care what beach we got married on, we just asked Matt (the pastor who married us) to pick one he thought was good. That lei I was wearing was really itchy by the way. But still way more comfortable than a tux, and I didn't have to wear shoes. Johanna didn't like that the wind was blowing her hair all over the place but I really like it when she just leaves it down and it is all wavy and natural looking.

As for my thoughts on being married after one month, our lives are not all that different and I'm really used to wearing my ring now. I'm really not used to calling her "my wife" though. It's just weird. I'm guessing at some point you get used to saying it.

^Surfing at Waikiki was just one of those things I had to do. It's the birthplace of surfing and probably the easiest place to surf there is. Of course that means that the place is always super crowded but I managed to get out there with 200 other people, dodge outrigger canoes and beginners on huge longboards and catch a few waves. It was really fun. I loved the fact that almost everything "to do" in Hawaii involved the ocean. Surfing, snorkeling at Shark's Cove, and hanging out on the North Shore were my favorite things about Hawaii. Other than getting married and other wedding related "activities" of course.

^This is me and my Goddaughter Sydney. She's super cute, I definitely need to get to Columbia soon to see her again. I suppose I would like to hang out with her parents too.

^This is me and my new friend Donovan. We hung out alot when Johanna and I went to Chicago for her friend Chrissy's wedding.

Oh yeah, our new apartment is cool too. You can see some pictures over on Johanna's Blog but I'll post some once we finally have everything unpacked, and once we get our couch. New Town is an interesting place, but all in all I like it. I really like being able to ride my bike to the pool, or being able to walk to the market or coffee shop. It is really quiet though and sometimes I miss the hubbub of the Iwaszkowiec house. Speaking of which; Brazil 3, Argentina 0. "Yes! In the face!" I can't believe that my dad and I both weren't home to watch that today.

Death sucks...

2007-06-17T17:12:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone,

Just a little note to pass on, this morning around 9:00 o'clock, Amie's father died due to a blood infection which arose out of complications with his cancer. Thanks to everyone who has been praying for him.

~ Joff

Congratulations...

2007-06-12T15:19:00.000-06:00

My brother got married!

This is exciting.

We are happy for him (and them!)

His wife is great.

I think MGW should write a hiaku.

check out the pix here if you are interested: http://apartmentfiveb.blogspot.com/

(this is also the link on the right side called "JoJo & Friends")

Moving Schmooving...

2007-05-30T13:53:00.001-06:00

That's pretty much all I have to say about that...

Of course I want that fried....

2007-05-16T20:58:00.000-06:00

Vacations are nice. My favorite part is not having to set the alarm clock. It's nice to be able to get up whenever I want. Also nice is eating lots of seafood and hanging out on the beach all day. I almost put myself into a food coma tonight though due to Tapas Night at Tamara's in Apalach. Lots of good stuff. We have definitely seen lots of wildlife on this trip too. But if you want details you should check out Johanna's Blog.

^This picture is me and my dolphin friends, they were pretty close and the gulf was pretty much a lake that day. But we see dolphins so much it's no big deal at this point.

^This was yesterday morning, pretty fun shorebreak. The waves actually got better throughout the day and The Dolphin Whisperer (joff) and I had a fun little sundown session. We went out to the sandbar and were having a good time trading waves until the Whisperer saw a large shape in the wave we were about to take off on. We figured out later that it was a ray (we saw another one this afternoon) but at that point we weren't taking any chances. Especially after the alligator incident a couple nights ago.

^This is me and Jo at Harry A's on St. George Island. There's not really much of a story behind this picture, I just liked it. There was some funny karaoke going on at this place though. And some line dancing. But I was just there to eat shrimp.

Other things I am enjoying about this trip, in no particular order: having nothing to do besides sit on the beach, reading books, skittles, cold gatorades after being in the ocean, eating shrimp, aloe vera, and not wearing shoes. Unfortunately, there have not been any gummy bear throwing contests or zub-zub games on this trip.

Drive Thru Stoppers

2007-04-18T13:21:00.000-06:00

So, I recently was giving a friend a ride and we had need for some nourishment and found that we had very little time. So, what type of food does one get when they are on a tight schedule? That's right, fast food. So anyway Taco Bell at lunch time is a little crowded, so Brian and I decide to drive-thru. We make our selections and then wait for the multiple cars in front of us.

While in a drive thru you are only concerned with those cars directly in front and behind you. You want the car in front to get out as quickly as possible and you hint at this by getting very close to their bumper, but at the same time you have that other guy behind you who gets all up in your space. Needless to say it is quite the conundrum.

So there is only one car in front of us and 3 behind us. The window helper lady hands the food to the car in front of us and they pull away slightly and then brake, performing the "I am checking for all my food" search. Why on earth are you stopping 3 feet in front of the window! You are effectively hindering me from reaching the window and getting my food. As well, what are you going to do? Are you going to put the car in reverse? We all know that is impossible because as soon as the drive-thru line goes forward it is impossible to go back again. So do us all a favor and pull away at least 15 feet before checking for your food. It makes no sense to hold up the rest of us.

Not Everyone comment at once

2007-04-10T14:22:00.000-06:00

Well...it is that time of year again. That is right the 2007 Calvary Youth Auction!!! Who is excited? Ok, well I have to be because it is part of my job and as part of my job it requires me to hit up everyone I know for donations. So, since I know all of you want to help me out I thought I would post it on here and you could comment that you wanted to donate something. I have forms and such if you want to write off your donation, or if the company you work for desires to write off the donation. If you aren't in to donating an item, you can be a sponsor. There are various levels of sponsorship, with the highest being $2000.00.

I have made a list of good ideas and bad ideas that you all can use as guidelines:

Good Ideas:
Event tickets (if you or someone you know gets season tickets to anything and you want to donate a few, that would be awesome)

Hotel/timeshare

Airline tickets

Gift certificates

Nice things (not your old crap)

Use your imagination

Bad Ideas:

A free sex education demonstration

Any old furniture with stains/stenches/missing parts

Your old sony walkman

Almost anything from the 1980's.

Hopefully with the information I have given you all, you can come up with some exciting things. Save the date for May 11th 2007. If anyone needs some tickets, i'll be more than happy to get them for you.

I Don't Want To Be Old

2007-03-29T21:46:00.000-06:00

Well I was tempted to just write another comment on Jeremy's last post, a "Matt comment" if you will, but I guess the time has come for me to make another post of my own. I don't know if I can inspire 14 comments but I'll do my best.

Many of you know that I enjoy working out quite a bit. It is generally a good thing as I like being fit, however over the last few years I have been exposed to a culture I was not really that aware of previously. The Gym. I could probably write a short book on all of the facets of the gym that I find intriguing but today I'm going to focus on 2 that really bug me: old naked guys and water aerobics.

Now, I've never been in the women's locker room at a gym so I can't comment on that, but in my experience in men's locker rooms old guys sure like to walk around the locker room naked. And the older they are, the more they walk around. It's like they have to see every little bit of the locker room. I don't get it at all. I was a swimmer for a long time and I spent many years around lots of guys in speedos but I will never be comfortable parading around a locker room totally naked. And these guys totally don't care, they'll stand around watching CNBC or Cartoon Network or whatever the TVs have on, talk to their "gym friends", or just take a few naked laps around the locker room. It's weird.

But maybe not as weird as what I think is probably the most ridiculously ineffective form of exercise there is - water aerobics. There is really nothing aerobic about water aerobics. It's just a bunch of old ladies kind of hopping around in the pool. And usually half of them are complaining about how cold the water is. I swear that there is one lady in the water aerobics "class" at my gym that wears a springsuit. (For those of you that are unfamiliar with wetsuits, a springsuit is a wetsuit that stops at the elbows and knees). Anyway, swimming is fantastic exercise, really good for you, but hopping around a pool for 45 minutes or so is another story. It might be kinda fun but let's not kid ourselves and think that it's the same as lifting weights, running, biking, or even walking. Plus, they always hang on the lane lines. I was a lifeguard for too long for that not to bother me.

In other swimming related news I have to agree with Neal, Michael Phelps is pretty much not human. If you guys aren't aware of what he's doing at the World Championships you should check it out. He's winning everything he swims and just completely demolishing world records.
Also, you better believe I'm gonna see Pride. But first I need to go see a certain movie involving ice skating, Will Ferrell, and Napolean Dynamite.

"Cell Phones Are Awesome............NOT!" (said in Borat's voice)

2007-03-23T12:01:00.000-06:00

so I'm sitting on an airplane last night. they load the plane to leave on time but then wait 45 minutes to allow a connecting flight to land so that people aren't stuck in Atlanta (this is nice but somewhat frustrating)...anyway, a woman one seat behind me spoke on her cell phone for the entire time. my head was about ready to explode as I was on the verge of grabbing her phone, hanging up, and chucking down the aisle. mostly, I was tired of listening to poor grammer, meaningless bull%^%#&, and the word "like" 800 times.

This isn't to be confused with the very articulate, yet extremely LOUD man earlier in the evening who felt it necessary to make sure the entire gate (waiting area) could hear about his gambling experience in which some man wouldn't let some woman roll and finally hit "sevens" after 15 minutes...or how he had lost $600 but won it back. I think he was talking to his children too. that made it even better.

by the way, I finally saw "Borat". too much fuss about that one...although the scene where he prays in tongues and talks about his friend, "Mr. Jesus", had me rolling...

This is Madness. THIS IS JEFF"S BODY!!!

2007-03-14T09:01:00.000-06:00

Man, I cannot shake this illness. This is day 4 and it seems that the foreign elements are lodged in my nasal passages like a group of hairless Spartans. I believe in the end that the Persian horde which is my immune system will win the day.

I think the illness is affecting my prophetic dreams. I haven't slept a full night since i got sick. Also in response to mythbusters, I think that they need to work on the myth about spiders crawling in your mouth while you sleep. Think about it, basically the show would consist of the two hosts arguing about who was going to fall asleep in the room full of spiders. I hope it would be the one with the mustache. I bet that it would deter spiders, like women, from getting near your mouth.

So, I read an article in Newsweek "The Gospel According to Protheo" about how Americans are very spiritual but no nothing about religion. So, I thought to myself and said "I wonder if I can list all the books of the bible in order." Now keep in mind I had not done this since probably 8th grade in confirmation class. When you are getting your degree in religion from a Baptist affiliated institution it is assumed you know this stuff I guess. Perhaps they should rethink their strategy.

Anyway, I got through about a third of the old testament before I started to get mixed up in my order. After Lamentations things got really interesting. All those minor prophets and their short books. Hosea and Joel really messed me up. So I did pretty bad on my first run through of the old testament.

I figured the new testament would be cake. I steamrolled through the list and when I finished I looked down and I was like...hmmmm....my list looks off. Sure enough I had forgotten both Timothy's. Silly me, Timothy of all books, honestly! I love the Timothy's, I can't believe I forgot them.

Anyway, if you read this, my challenge for you, is for you to see how well you do and then post your results.

Anyway, I am out. I need to send the Persian horde some supplies

A Dim Star Rising

2007-03-09T08:54:00.000-06:00

Well…I guess it is time to breathe some life back into this Blog. Is there a rule about double posting? Is that allowed? I was just curious because this site has sat dormant for so long. Now I know that all us posters have been busy but still, no one can give an insightful thought or witty comment about the mundane things in their life.

Also on the JDW (Jeff’s Dream Watch) the news is dim. I haven’t remembered many of my dreams lately. I’ll keep you all posted. It might be time for another Pizza Street night.

Right now I am substitute teaching, I should probably monitor the students taking a test, but no, I am busy with this Blog (actually most students are finished with the test and it is the last day of school before spring break). For those wondering it is French class, I am Monsieur I today. Now I know nothing of the French language and the funny thing is the only thing most of these students would need to do in order to cheat is talk in French, but lucky for me, they don’t know French either. Also, I think we need to do a survey and find out the number of males that take French, it has to be considerably lower than all other languages.

There was a student in my first hour that either moved here or is an exchange student from the Republic of Congo (if it is still called that today). He speaks French but he was the last one done with his work. I think if you can carry on a conversation in French you should at least be put in French 5, but he was in 4 which is close enough I guess. Funny side note, he really liked South Park and watches it in French. I don’t know why but I find that really really funny.

Also in first hour was a girl with a broken hand, I stopped her from telling how she did it after I heard the beginning.

Her: “I broke my hand when I ran into a train.”
Me: “Was it stationary.”
Her: “Yes”
Me: “How did you run into it, in your car, on a bike, on foot?”
Her: “On foot, I was running from the cops”
Me: “Ok, stop, I don’t know if I am legally allowed to hear anymore.”

Our future…sigh…

The Slippery Slope

2007-03-01T23:32:00.000-06:00

While Joff might feel that he is upping his coolness lately, I feel quite the opposite. I am sadly being pulled into the depths of nerdom. Let's take a look at some of my recent activities. Starting and contributing to a blog? Check. Setting up an ebay account and actually buying something through said account? Check. Reading the first Harry Potter book and starting on the second one? Check and check. I'm sinking into the quicksand of nerdiness. Someone needs to throw me a rope. It's too bad football season is so far away. Of course I bought a new wakeboard on ebay, which is actually pretty cool. However now I am being pulled into a bidding war over new bindings. Every time I turn on this computer I'm checking my stupid ebay first. It was a dagger to the heart tonight when I learned that I had been outbid. I'm formulating a bidding strategy because I still have a day and a half before the auction is up.

I guess it's good that I still lift weights, swim, run, and watch ESPN. And that I'm getting really excited for wakeboarding season. But if I become part of Joff's guild in the near future you guys have my permission to stage an intervention.

Ode to "Joff"

2007-02-28T08:49:00.000-06:00

"ki’ come?"

"Rambo, force of free-o"

bear bear

jordache kid

King Josiah….he’s a good good king.

salsa in the road

"uncle travel fred"

"a Horton says whatin’?"

Happy Birthday Bro!!! I hope you have a great day!!!

Tortoise or Hare?

2007-02-25T10:15:00.000-06:00

"...you can't stop him...you can only...hope...to contain him..."

MGW has exploded out of the gate. numerous, lengthy 'comments' abound. Creative ideas, shenanigans, and ballyhoo are aplenty. Will it continue at such a frenetic pace or will fizzle out? time will tell...

"...some rides don't have much of a finish..."

or was it...

"...sunrises don't have much of a finish..." ????

good times good times

Pizza Street Prophecies

2007-02-21T17:28:00.000-06:00

So the other night as I was leaving church and as I stepped outside the front doors. I stopped as the rest of my party continued to walk. I had seen the exact same scene in my mind at some time before. That got me thinking as to when I had seen the strange scene before, and it occurred that I had had a dream about it. Now I’ve never claimed to be a prophet, but I have had a number of these occurrences known as déjà vu (See definition).

So last night I had a nightmare and woke up at 5:00 am and was unable to fall back to sleep. This is the second dream that has taken me out of my peaceful slumber in the past month (believe me, I’ve documented). So, I hope that the most recent dream never comes to fruition. The good news is that the first dream involved giant talking squids as well as a giant talking stegosaurus, so I don’t see that one happening anytime soon. Also last night I ate at a certain pizza joint which shall rename nameless (except in the title). I had a multitude of pizzas ranging from many different toppings, baked potato pizza, buffalo wing pizza, Philly cheese steak pizza, among others. Perhaps that is the reason for such an abrupt wake up this morning. My stomach was prophesying some very violent things which were to come.

And all that my stomach prophesied came to pass.

Déjà vu-a distortion of memory in which a new situation or experience is regarded as having happened before.

Bill Simmons is a genius...

2007-02-20T14:46:00.000-06:00

...I just finished reading his latest column regarding the NBA all-star weekend [It can be found at www.espn.com on the front page...easy to find]..Go read it now.

Much of his appeal comes from his "average guy persona". He was working as a bartender and writing for a personal website he set up when the internet was just getting started (in the mid 90's). He essentially uses common sense, some creative thinking, and a bit of comedy to rethink and retell our sporting (and other pop culture) experiences (essentially, he is exactly like our friend Matt).

I think that Bill S. is a bit more genius though than he comes across. He has transformed the relationship between fans and professional sports. To use one of my dad's favorite words, he shifted our "paradigm". He saw a new technological medium untapped and a public hunger for connectedness. He prides himself on being an "average fan" and writes from that perspective versus an elitist or superior level...He has bridged the gap between casual fan and super star athlete by making them more human and giving us (casual fan) more of a voice. He also makes me laugh. A lot. Laughing is good.

I like him. I look forward to his columns...

The end.

Being a Nerd

2007-02-16T13:39:00.000-06:00

I am upping my coolness as of this post. This week has been a week of firsts. I started a myface page, I contributed to a blog, and I reached level 70, the peak, of World of Warcraft.

You might say, "Being a level 70 Druid on the Whisperwind Realm is not upping anything cool.
In fact I would say it is making you an even bigger nerd.", but you would be wrong. For it is quite the accomplishment. Have you braved the lands of Kalimdor, Lordareon, and Azeroth? Have you fought through Outland, and been through Hellfire Peninsula? Have you saved the World of Warcraft? I think not.

You may joke, and make fun, but just remember when your internet goes down, when you can't check your precious blog, who will you call? The odds are you will call a World of Warcraft player. Just remember that the next time you check your e-mail, or post on your blog.

Shaherman Takes Off

2007-02-16T07:07:00.000-06:00

I could not wait to see the Teen Choice awards of Fox this year. Traveling around airports makes you a sucker to accept forced fed content. My new favorite provider of this trash is a company called Captive Media. They put little LCD panels in elevators and run fake stories on them, produced by advertisers. The 'ads' toggle between entertainment news, sports, and little facts you would find on the lid of a Snapple. It gives some people an excuse to make conversation with you in the brief elevator ride, which I welcome. I was going up two floors to the Cinnabon at DFW, when a news flash came accross that Wilmer Valderama was up for a Teen Choice award. Vato next to me comments to the group that he is really hoping Fez pulls it off. On my way up to our office on the 24th floor the following Monday, I see that he won and that the weather will be partly cloudy.

Under the weather

2007-02-14T21:50:00.000-06:00

Remember when you were a little kid and you got sick and got to miss a couple days of school and everything? It was never really that bad right? In fact it was kind of nice because you got to stay home, lay in bed all day, watch daytime tv, and drink lots of 7up. Not a bad trade off for a little fever. Well, being sick when you are old it is not that fun. I've spent the better part of the last 4 days with a fever. Today has been the first day since Saturday night that I've been able to sit up and that I've actually wanted to eat anything. I've also consumed copious amounts of 7up. Which is just as good as I remembered. However, that's been about the only pleasant thing I've experienced the last few days. Johanna did take good care of me, and made me go to the doctor when I really didn't want to go, but I'm glad that I'm feeling better. And able to speak in complete sentences again.

It was nice to be able to catch up on my daytime tv though. I've watched a whole lot of Sportscenter and I'm pretty sick of hearing about the whole San Diego Chargers coaching thing. Though I do think that they were the best team in the NFL and that if they had a different coach they probably would've beaten the Patriots. I will also never understand the appeal of NASCAR, and the ridiculous amount of coverage ESPN gives it. Other new favorites from the last 4 days on the couch: Maui Fever (oddly fascinating), Engaged and Underage (ditto), Days of Our Lives (an old favorite really), 2 A Days. and the Grammy Awards. I think I've also watched the 13th Warrior like 3 times since Monday (those stupid dish network movie channels suck me in every time).

That's all I've got for now.

I have issues...

2007-02-14T14:14:00.000-06:00

(about this blog site: I was confused at first and didn't realize that Jon was inviting me to be a contributor...thanks for the invite! Apartment 5B look out!)

Psychologists use the term “differentiation” or “differentiated” frequently. It is not easily defined and complex to understand. My paraphrase goes something like this: it is one’s ability to hold onto the best parts of oneself while staying connected to another in an intense and/or emotionally meaningful relationship without losing one’s self into the other and/or consuming the other into one’s self.

That is a bit heady (I understand…read it again if you need to). Typically, it is used to discuss the relationships of people. However, I’m having a tough time being differentiated from my house….here’s the deal:

Shannon and I are moving to Memphis. We put our house on the market last Thursday. We have had a boooooooatload of people come through (what else is there to do in Minnesnowta when it is -6˙ F)…thanks to modern technology which allows prospective buyers/realtors to leave comments for us to see (along with our realtor talking with those same realtors) we have read/heard some not nice things about our house. “too small”. “bad colors”. “ugly tile”. My initial/visceral response wants to fight/challenge/defend our house! We love it! We wouldn’t be leaving if not for an out of state move!!!

All that is to say that I was taking things personally and feeling people’s bad feelings towards my house as bad feelings towards me. But that is dumb. They don’t know me. And they don’t know my house either (not much anyway). Thus, I was feeling emotionally fused (another psychological term) with my house. I needed to get over it. So I did. I made a conscious decision to believe that it will sell and someone or some couple will love it. And that all people are different and they are entitled to their opinions and they don’t have to like my house. It says nothing about their feelings/thoughts for me and/or the reality of the greatness of my house. My house doesn’t need me to defend it. It can do that on its own.

This leads me to think of several different strands of continued thought:

1. What other inanimate objects do we get emotionally fused with?

2. Has anyone else sold a house and wanted to personally tell prospective buyers how great it is?

3. A house is more than the size of rooms, color of walls, and type of siding…this house is mostly about the first 5 years of our marriage and all the up/downs that went along with it. We love this house (queue sappy music).

4. I'm working from home. I obviously have issues with this and have too much time to ramble psychological/philosophical thoughts about a dumb house...

(it looks better in summer/fall with green leaves, bushes, plants...but this is all I had at the moment)

The "F Word"

2007-02-09T21:39:00.000-06:00

So my nerd girlfriend made this blog for me. I'm hoping my friends and brother will contribute to it as well. I'm looking at you Matt. Anyway, you will notice that I said girlfriend and not fiancee, even though I am in fact engaged. Why? Because I hate the F word. I just can't bring myself to say it, even writing it hurts. So I don't say it. And Johanna and I have been referring to each other as our "f words". Which is pretty funny on multiple levels.

This has made me think of other words and phrases that I hate. These include:

"set the date" - Also wedding related, this bugs me because you don't set the date for any other event, yet the second you get engaged every person you come into contact with asks you if you've set the date. It makes my skin crawl.

"pamper(ing)" - With Valentine's Day approaching I'm hearing this one alot more than I usually would. I think I don't like it because it makes me think of diapers. And I think it's disturbing to hear commercials on sports radio where the hosts keep using this word.

" The Countrywide Home Loans Guy" - While not a word or phrase, this guy is on TV 24/7 and I hate him. Every time one of these commercials comes on I scream and turn the channel as quickly as possible.

That's all I can think of on that topic for now. I'll try not to be so negative on my next post.