"i'm at a loss for words..." but i'm gonna talk for 15 minutes

Alright, I was gonna do a Welton comment but I decided to just do my own post in response to Sparky's Dad's musings on swimming. Yeah, it is cool that everyone wants to talk about swimming right now. And it is a cool and weird sport. One of the things I like best about it is that it is truly an individual sport. You can't blame your performance on anything or anyone else. There are no bad calls. Your performance is all you. You can't yell at the ref in Spanish and get kicked out of a swim meet.

I totally agree about the silver and bronze medal thing. If I got the silver medal and set an American Record, I would be ecstatic. Like if I was Cavic, I would have been stoked. The best swimmer ever BARELY touched me out to win. The only guy better than him is the best swimmer in the world, ever. I'd be ok with that.

And I also agree about comparing it to other sports. What Phelps did was incredible but you really can't compare it to any other sport. Swimming is swimming. He is easily the best swimmer in the world. But the best athlete? No. The best athlete is someone who excels at multiple sports. And I'm not sure who that is. Everything is so specialized now. People like Jim Brown, or better yet Jim Thorpe, aren't around anymore. Speaking of which, if you've never heard of Jim Thorpe, do a little research and read about him. I read an awesome book about him titled "Carlisle vs. Army." I highly recommend it. That guy was the MAN.

Anyway back to swimming, Johanna and I were talking about this and about if everything was equal - same suits, goggles, training, all at their peak, etc. - how awesome would a race between Phelps, Spitz, Johnny Weismuller and Duke Kahanamoku be?

I don't know how Phelps won the 100 fly but it was my favorite race to watch. And when he came off the wall at the 50 I knew he had it. Phelps' reaction to winning that race was the best. And his mom's was classic too.

I haven't worn the super cool new suits, so I really can't comment on them. And I also don't know what they do to girls' boobs. I would imagine that the suits are pretty tight though.

Shot at Neal. Nice.

Soccer players trying to stretch like swimmers makes for high comedy I would imagine.

Rowdy and Andrea need to go away.

Water depth, temperature, and drainage really DO make a pool fast or slow.

Lastly, thanks for the props. Swimming is awesome. I'll leave you with something to think about: Sparky = gonna be tall, big hands, big feet, pool in the backyard....it's not too early is all I'm saying.

Swimming is cool...and so are caves

A swimmer just brought America to its knees...er...well, to its butts in front of our televisions anyway...and it was AWESOME! Michael Phelps was amazing. Go read this article. It is a bit long and requires you to invest 2-3 minutes of your time, but it is worth it.

(my favorite part is imagining sports bars and arenas tuning in every night...reminds me of the WORLD CUP/soccer)

but, I think swimming is odd. It is really cool and really weird all at the same time...here are a smattering of thoughts:

-I know this might not be the deal everywhere in the world, but in America (to the average person) why is swimming only cool at the olympics?

-Why does Andrea Kraemer insists on asking the dumbest/oddest questions she can think of?

-I hate it how we sometimes think silver or bronze or setting a new country record isn't good enough...the women's 4X100 medley team swam a GREAT race and set a new american record but got beat by the insanely fast Aussies (who might as well be all americans) and Andrea Kraemer was asking the team questions like they had lost and they sucked...ARE YOU KIDDING ME, they just swam incredibly fast and did what they wanted to do...someone beat them. that happens. celebrate how great they swam. (this happens alot in swimming...and especially when Andrea Kraemer has a microphone)

-how did Phelps win the 100fly?

-how did Lezak catch frenchie in the 4x100 relay?

-Janet Evans' record going down was pretty amazing too, that girl from britain SMASHED it...that Japanese breastroker was insanely good as well.

-Very cool how all the celebs were in the "cube" watching MP (lebron, kobe, president bush)

-I'm glad I don't have to listen to any more Dora Torres stories...

-Why does Jon hate Rowdy Gaines so much?

-Phelps' mom was super cute...I LOVED her reaction after at the 100fly, and that guy sitting in front of her that race was classic as well..

-I HATE how we compare athletes across sports..."michael phelps did something greater than winning the tour-de- france, more difficult than an ironman, more mentally tough than tiger woods, lebron james, blah blah blah..."...celebrate what athletes do in their own context. I think we would appreciate them more if we could do that...

-swimmers have shorter legs and really really long arms....that is sort of funny. (no offense Neal!?) :-)

-Shan wants to know what happens to women's boobs...are those suits really THAT TIGHT that they just get smashed in? and is that painful in any way?

-my soccer boys trying to impersonate Phelps' stretching routine was pretty funny...

Again, it was a fun ride watching mr phelps...my favorite image is the one of him celebrating after the 4x100 medley...that was pure passion in human muscle flexing form...the other image I want to take is his face/response after Ms Kraemer asked him another dumb question (yet again). I think the question had something to do with getting 8 golds (this was back when he only had 2 or 3) but his response was something like this, "...lady, I am happy. I am swimming really fast. and that is all that matters right now...I am a swimmer. and I'm doing what I love to do...if I get 8 golds great. but right now I just swam really fast. I am tired. and I am happy" (my paraphrase)...I love that because I think the craziest part about Phelps' journey must have been the mental part of it all. Staying "in the present" to focus on what he had to do for each race must have been tough. I can't imagine the "mental fortitude" (to mimick JCarlos)...and that is why I appreciate MP so much.

If there are any swimmers who might read this blog, please feel free to write your own olympic swimming posts (if you want)...I hope I didn't steal anyone's thunder....I really wanted to write this as sort of a "tribute" to you guys...swimmers rarely get any recognition, but you are stud athletes and mentally tough competitors (no doubt a little loopy too!)...and as boring as swim meets are, there are moments of brilliance and intensity and excitement that are special to the sport.

I wish I could have watched the races with you all...that would have been fun...

"The Lake House" the hottest new show on television

So...there have comments regarding the "timing" of this blog, and the fact that the "sick day poll" has been left up for so long. I would like to begin by answering these critics.

First off, many members of this blog (as well as many of the readers) have been in the presence of one another over the past few weekends. To write about events that everyone attended would be very odd. For example one post might read "Hey remember when we got lost in Memphis going down for Ben's wedding?" and we would have comments like "yea that was a good time" and then it would be awkward blog silence.

Or we could have said something like "Matt and Vicki's farewell party was good, I am really gonna miss them" which you be followed with something like "Yeah, it was fun, I'll miss them too." Again followed by awkward blog silence. To conclude this section, we can't instantly reminisce or talk about some event that many of us were at, it would just seem odd.

However I can talk about the recent excursion I had with my wife and friends to a land of fascination and wonder. Many of you know the wonderful land I speak of, The Lake of the Ozarks.

We made the usual 2-3 hour trek in around 4 hours, how is that possible you ask, well you have to stop multiple times. Our first stop took place in the beautiful area of Warrenton. The local eatery we chose was Sonic which apparently is “America’s Drive In”. The locals were very hospitable.

A few notes about Warrenton: 1. The Chinese buffet was the most populated eatery in the entire city, 2. the gas crunch is apparently hitting hard in Warrenton as it had an unusually high amount of walkers making their way from the hang-out of Warrenton (Super Wal-Mart). 3. This last post is not necessarily in Warrenton but near, The “Elvis is Alive” museum with the large cutout of Elvis out front was apparently sold and is relocating to Mississippi. The building’s owner (a creepy evangelist) is making it into a food pantry/drug rehab center which is noble but rumor has it that the Elvis cutout is now a Jesus cutout which I didn’t get to see because I wasn’t paying attention but next time I am going that way I am keeping my eyes peeled.

Our second stop was at the lovely city named “Kingdom City”. I don’t know what Kingdom the city represents; a few ideas are the kingdom of truckers, the kingdom of Hoosiers, the kingdom of parents whose children have to pee, or the kingdom of youth groups who need a place to stop on their way to camp. We saw all four of these groups represented in the kingdom. We also saw a contingent of Asians apparently looking for a new kingdom since they seemed to be lost and shocked that an American would hold a door open for them. Apparently McDonald’s are taking the place of churches in the new world as it is one of the new “safe places” that one runs to when they feel lost and alone.

The last stop we made on our way was in the city bearing my name, our state’s great capital, Jeff City. We stopped in perhaps the place everyone goes to get supplies for a lake trip of course I am talking of Wal-Mart. The sights and sounds of Wal-Mart are to terrifying and disturbing to be mentioned here. Needless to say we made it out with our supplies and finally arrived at the lake without a stop in the ever popular Eldon, Missouri.

We had an enjoyable time wandering the Osage Beach outlet mall in search of what all outlet mall shoppers want, “the perfect deal”. The perfect deal was not found, but some lovely purchases were made, and the day was capped off with chocolate covered goodness for all. (Side note: Any time a guy friend is eating a chocolate covered banana you have full go ahead to hurl as gay jokes at him as possible while he eats the banana).

Saturday night we were back at the Lake House, which we decided would be an excellent idea for a show/book. If I ever have a vacation home I will leave a book in which everyone must write a synopsis of what occurred while they were there. For instance, “This week on the Lake House, Jeff snores real loud and people hear him over the TV. How will Amie respond? Find out next!” I think this show could take off.

Anyway, in ending I have a question for any medical personal/lifeguards, at what temperature does hypothermia set in? What would say the temperature of a lake need to be, and how long would one need to be in it before they were in trouble?

These questions are purely hypothetical as only and idiot would go swimming in the Lake of the Ozarks at this time of year.

(After further research on hypothermia from the infallible Wikipedia it is quite possible my swimming companion may have had stage one hypothermia, but she is fine now.
And now I know about it and knowing is half the battle.)

I Don't Want To Be Old

Well I was tempted to just write another comment on Jeremy's last post, a "Matt comment" if you will, but I guess the time has come for me to make another post of my own. I don't know if I can inspire 14 comments but I'll do my best.

Many of you know that I enjoy working out quite a bit. It is generally a good thing as I like being fit, however over the last few years I have been exposed to a culture I was not really that aware of previously. The Gym. I could probably write a short book on all of the facets of the gym that I find intriguing but today I'm going to focus on 2 that really bug me: old naked guys and water aerobics.

Now, I've never been in the women's locker room at a gym so I can't comment on that, but in my experience in men's locker rooms old guys sure like to walk around the locker room naked. And the older they are, the more they walk around. It's like they have to see every little bit of the locker room. I don't get it at all. I was a swimmer for a long time and I spent many years around lots of guys in speedos but I will never be comfortable parading around a locker room totally naked. And these guys totally don't care, they'll stand around watching CNBC or Cartoon Network or whatever the TVs have on, talk to their "gym friends", or just take a few naked laps around the locker room. It's weird.

But maybe not as weird as what I think is probably the most ridiculously ineffective form of exercise there is - water aerobics. There is really nothing aerobic about water aerobics. It's just a bunch of old ladies kind of hopping around in the pool. And usually half of them are complaining about how cold the water is. I swear that there is one lady in the water aerobics "class" at my gym that wears a springsuit. (For those of you that are unfamiliar with wetsuits, a springsuit is a wetsuit that stops at the elbows and knees). Anyway, swimming is fantastic exercise, really good for you, but hopping around a pool for 45 minutes or so is another story. It might be kinda fun but let's not kid ourselves and think that it's the same as lifting weights, running, biking, or even walking. Plus, they always hang on the lane lines. I was a lifeguard for too long for that not to bother me.

In other swimming related news I have to agree with Neal, Michael Phelps is pretty much not human. If you guys aren't aware of what he's doing at the World Championships you should check it out. He's winning everything he swims and just completely demolishing world records.
Also, you better believe I'm gonna see Pride. But first I need to go see a certain movie involving ice skating, Will Ferrell, and Napolean Dynamite.