So...there have comments regarding the "timing" of this blog, and the fact that the "sick day poll" has been left up for so long. I would like to begin by answering these critics.
First off, many members of this blog (as well as many of the readers) have been in the presence of one another over the past few weekends. To write about events that everyone attended would be very odd. For example one post might read "Hey remember when we got lost in Memphis going down for Ben's wedding?" and we would have comments like "yea that was a good time" and then it would be awkward blog silence.
Or we could have said something like "Matt and Vicki's farewell party was good, I am really gonna miss them" which you be followed with something like "Yeah, it was fun, I'll miss them too." Again followed by awkward blog silence. To conclude this section, we can't instantly reminisce or talk about some event that many of us were at, it would just seem odd.
However I can talk about the recent excursion I had with my wife and friends to a land of fascination and wonder. Many of you know the wonderful land I speak of,
The Lake of the Ozarks.
We made the usual 2-3 hour trek in around 4 hours, how is that possible you ask, well you have to stop multiple times. Our first stop took place in the beautiful area of Warrenton. The local eatery we chose was
Sonic which apparently is “America’s Drive In”. The locals were very hospitable.
A few notes about Warrenton: 1. The Chinese buffet was the most populated eatery in the entire city, 2. the gas crunch is apparently hitting hard in Warrenton as it had an unusually high amount of walkers making their way from the hang-out of Warrenton (Super Wal-Mart). 3. This last post is not necessarily in Warrenton but near, The “
Elvis is Alive” museum with the large cutout of Elvis out front was apparently sold and is relocating to Mississippi. The building’s owner (
a creepy evangelist) is making it into a food pantry/drug rehab center which is noble but rumor has it that the Elvis cutout is now a Jesus cutout which I didn’t get to see because I wasn’t paying attention but next time I am going that way I am keeping my eyes peeled.
Our second stop was at the lovely city named “
Kingdom City”. I don’t know what Kingdom the city represents; a few ideas are the kingdom of truckers, the kingdom of Hoosiers, the kingdom of parents whose children have to pee, or the kingdom of youth groups who need a place to stop on their way to camp. We saw all four of these groups represented in the kingdom. We also saw a contingent of Asians apparently looking for a new kingdom since they seemed to be lost and shocked that an American would hold a door open for them. Apparently McDonald’s are taking the place of churches in the new world as it is one of the new “safe places” that one runs to when they feel lost and alone.
The last stop we made on our way was in the city bearing my name, our state’s great capital, Jeff City. We stopped in perhaps the place everyone goes to get supplies for a lake trip of course I am talking of Wal-Mart. The sights and sounds of Wal-Mart are to terrifying and disturbing to be mentioned here. Needless to say we made it out with our supplies and finally arrived at the lake without a stop in the ever popular Eldon, Missouri.
We had an enjoyable time wandering the Osage Beach outlet mall in search of what all outlet mall shoppers want, “the perfect deal”. The perfect deal was not found, but some lovely purchases were made, and the day was capped off with chocolate covered goodness for all. (Side note: Any time a guy friend is eating a chocolate covered banana you have full go ahead to hurl as gay jokes at him as possible while he eats the banana).
Saturday night we were back at the Lake House, which we decided would be an excellent idea for a show/book. If I ever have a vacation home I will leave a book in which everyone must write a synopsis of what occurred while they were there. For instance, “This week on the Lake House, Jeff snores real loud and people hear him over the TV. How will Amie respond? Find out next!” I think this show could take off.
Anyway, in ending I have a question for any medical personal/lifeguards, at what temperature does hypothermia set in? What would say the temperature of a lake need to be, and how long would one need to be in it before they were in trouble?
These questions are purely hypothetical as only and idiot would go swimming in the Lake of the Ozarks at this time of year.
(After further research on hypothermia from the infallible Wikipedia it is quite possible my swimming companion may have had stage one hypothermia, but she is fine now.
And now I know about it and knowing is half the battle.)
