so I'm sitting on an airplane last night. they load the plane to leave on time but then wait 45 minutes to allow a connecting flight to land so that people aren't stuck in Atlanta (this is nice but somewhat frustrating)...anyway, a woman one seat behind me spoke on her cell phone for the entire time. my head was about ready to explode as I was on the verge of grabbing her phone, hanging up, and chucking down the aisle. mostly, I was tired of listening to poor grammer, meaningless bull%^%#&, and the word "like" 800 times.
This isn't to be confused with the very articulate, yet extremely LOUD man earlier in the evening who felt it necessary to make sure the entire gate (waiting area) could hear about his gambling experience in which some man wouldn't let some woman roll and finally hit "sevens" after 15 minutes...or how he had lost $600 but won it back. I think he was talking to his children too. that made it even better.
by the way, I finally saw "Borat". too much fuss about that one...although the scene where he prays in tongues and talks about his friend, "Mr. Jesus", had me rolling...
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9 months ago
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somewhere in china a piece of paper is being inserted into an elbow shaped sugar cookie that states "a wise man once say, one is not defined by his cell phone" and suprisingly on the back are the lucky jesus numbers from christmas 3 years ago that joff tried to win big on. i thought it was a pretty darn good idea actually. one for the joff coffee table book for sure.
anyways, cell phones pretty much allow the world to know you are important. you have lots of people that you know and lots of people that know you right back. your importance is proven right there in your phone book. you are so important that you must be reached at any moment by any one of these people. lots of folks think that airports are for emplementing the free movement of citizens across state boarders for redic low fares. however ive been convinced that the real reason airports exist is to create an atmosphere where total strangers can continuously prove their superior importance over each other. the most popular and, by the way, rookie way of doing so is talking really loud about cases and files and meetings that to the one sided listener really sounds quite lame. (a blue tooth is used mostly by the most insecure of people and really screams "look at me". only the completely lost and self absorbed businessman turned retard use these along with the sneak from behind talk to themseleves but supposedly talking to someone else technique). the worst offender i ever laid eyes on actually used his speaker phone in the gate area so that we could fully understand his importance by being prevy to both sides of the conversation. this man truly is an innovator and champion in the self promoting field of excellence.
as i said before, airports serve many more functions than simply getting the business traveler from A to B. they give the business man a chance to be away from the boss, to feel important, to feel trusted by somebody. after a few days on the road they actually start to buy into the b.s. going on inside their heads. thats why when a minimum wage gate agent tells them that they cant take their suitcase on board beacuse its too big you have a scene rivaling the first 10 minutes of saving private ryan. dont even get me started about the guys that try to board before their row has been called. nothing does more damage to the status of an importance seeker than a 105 lb asian girl telling him infront of everyone else hes about to be trapped in a metal tube with that he has to wait 30 more seconds until his row is called.
if you step back and think about it, airports are the perfect place for cell phone heirarchy and abuse. its a well known fact that when grown adults walk into an airport they turn into 12 year olds. and as a 12 year old, its really important to establish yourself as someone who is cool/capable/valued. establishing yourself as the alpha male in the gate area could possibly transcend itslef into getting an exit row seat, or perhaps the last pillow. i could write a thesis or two on the self appointed importance of passengers.
sorry jon, i know im just supposed to say "i know, jar, its so true, thats so funny" and leave it at that. why i dont is a direct reflection of ample time and sever annoyance with my fellow man. im beginning to think that some of these so called "blogs" are designed to send me off on a rambling rage for the pure enjoyment of everyone else.
if so, well played gentelmen. well played indeed.
jar, give me a call from your car sometime soon.
airports have runways for model planes with dolce & gabbana razors with rollover minutes.
it only took ten years for a cell phone to become priced low enough for someone to afford. they are now lumped in to the umbrella of consumer electronics category. it took 400 years for the pocket watch to develop in to a digital wristwatch (thanks seiko). the watch can still be seen as jewelry, collectible, or plastic timepiece with a picture of yu gi oh on the face. All of which tell time.
marketeers have to rely on varying feature sets, brand and appearance of phones. This buyer orientation is more vague than the watch, which factors precious metals, complex mechanical movements, and brand when segmenting products for all of us to buy and show off at Dallas/Fort Worth International.
I will bet you 150 Yuan that the fortune cookie factory worker does not even WEAR a watch, he CARRIES a cell phone. he could have bought his phone on the style, the feature, or because the carrier inked a deal with the manufacturer in the region forcing everyone to take the same model for the two year duration of their contracts.
The cell phone menace grows. While the older portion of the population continues to use there CP's with an alarming increase in volume, the younger generations are being groomed to communicate in a language that has a blatant disregard for the rules and principles of grammar. This phenomenon, known as “texting”, is even propagated by members of this very blog.
The language of texting is complex and ever changing, for example “lol” is an abbreviation of “laughing out loud”, or perhaps you can decipher this code “R U rdy?”
This virus of cell phone “texters” is even adding numbers into words in order that they look completely ridiculous such as “L8” or “sk8”.
Texting is becoming a nuisance throughout the school system, as well as church groups. That is why PeopleAgainstCellPhonesInSociety has been founded to show the makers of cell phones that we don’t want all their new technology. We desire the time when people interacted with each other on airplanes, when cheating was done by people writing answers under their hats, when you were made fun of for saying “lol” out loud. What has happened to those days…
my favorite is the <}:(
he is known as the angry samuri. not to be confused with the last samuri which turned out to be a fantastic movie once i found out tom cruise wasnt the title character. it would be pretty cool to hang out with a samuri im sure theyre a pretty cool lot. way better than ninjas. they are totally lame. but if i had to choose id probablly be that guy from kill bill that snached that chick from splashs eye ball out. i liked him quite a bit.
^ /
=_= /
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" *** "
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this is my own personal samuri. i only text him when i want to send a message thats not to be taken lightly. it may seem a bit lengthy but sometimes hes necessary. and i think most people can read between the astrisks. which happens to be quite the funny little publication i hear. i keep hearing about these so called tales every 3 years or so, but im not sure they actually exist. <:(((
im not sure these punctuations mean what i think they mean.
this "texting" you speak of?? you use a phone or this?
i remember the days when people just read in silence on airplanes or annoyed the people they were sitting next to by trying to talk to them. and when you didn't have to call someone the instant your plane hit the runway to tell them that you landed. amazingly most people actually met up with their parties at the gate. or say if someone was travelling to a central american country to meet a friend and say someone's flight from the capital city, let's call it san jose, to the little airport in the north was cancelled because of bad weather. so someone had to take a 6 hour taxi ride with 2 new friends on a road that was pretty much all pot holes and with a driver that was auditioning for nascar. if nascar had a crappy minivan division. and you got points for hitting potholes in that division. someone still could have survived such a journey and met up with his friend in a very small beach town all without using a cell phone. it can still be done.
Boys...boys, boys, boyz. I just wanted 2 take a sec & define "comment" & "post" 4 u, since none of u (esp Mr I-Never-Use-The-Same-Name-Twice-But-Everyone-Knows-It's-Matt) seem 2 no the diff.
A post is "a single unit of content on a blog, usually consisting of at least a title and text. A blog is made up of a collection of posts."
A comment is supposed to be "instant feedback to a specific blog post." Not instant feedback + 4 new thoughts that have nothing to do w/the 1st one.
U seem 2 have it backwards. Your blog is just a big collection of comments. Ugh.
Noobs...
:-)
your technology frightens and confuses me. and maybe we like comments.
Nice.
We live in a society driven by the sound byte or the 30 second clip, writing an entire entry is very demanding and harsh. It is much easier to give the quick painless comment.
...what was i talking about...
Today I went fishing.
10 comments, a new record.
&^%$$#*&^%)((&^$&^$
I take complete credit for our record setting comment session. my post was truly inspirational and transcended the text on the page to touch a deep and meaningful spot in all of you.
Cell phones are good, also for calling people back (jon). you just have to look at the missed calls, see my name...and press the button with the little green symbol on it.
you may be camped out right now in front of the regencey eight, waiting for the openining night of Pride. The inspiring story of that guy from Roseanne and Puddin Head compete at the Philadelphia Department of Recreation Puddin Head against Michael Phelps.
maybe not, but seriously...Phelps is creeping up on surpassing Lance Armstrong as the most amazing athlete ever with Kevin the Manibal maybe in 3rd.
how many ziti pudding heads did you count?
Silly, Joey Capelli, don't you know that Jon's cellphone doesn't have calling capabilities? I mean, if you want to talk to him you must text him something. The plan he got only gave him 5 anytime minutes but unlimited text messages.
By the way, he tried to talk me into seeing "Pride" but I decided the would be better spent putting bags of Pace salsa in the road.
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